“I’m so sorry, Kash. Truly.”
“I appreciate that. He was convinced that there was nothing a glance at the sky couldn’t fix.”
Mila grows quiet for a moment, then asks, “So, how did you end up with Emma?”
A scoff escapes me before I can stop it. “My mom decided losing my dad wasn’t as bad as I thought. She was remarried and moved on before the first year was over.”
“You’re joking?”
“Nope.” I pop the word.
“But that still doesn’t explain Emma.”
“Well, when she decided she wanted to move on, she movedallthe way on. After serial dating for a few months, she landed with this one guy, Michael, and decided to move out with him.”
“When you say move out...”
“Yep. Without me. I didn’t have any other family that would take me in, and after I tried to hide it for a few weeks, the counselor at school picked up on my odd behavior. I had lost some weight, and my clothes weren’t exactly clean. I was still on their radar because of losing Dad, so they were paying more attention than I thought.”
“And Emma?”
“Emma was friends with the counselor and was just starting in foster care. I think I’m the luckiest out of the four of us. I got three brothers but didn’t have to go through what they did.”
Mila’s quiet for so long, I start to panic when she pulls from my arms. Even in the moonlight, I can see the anger on her face. “That’s such bullshit, Kash. Your daddied,and the one person who was supposed to help you through that abandoned you. Don’t tell me you didn’t suffer, Kash. God, what a fucking bitch.”
Laughing, I stare at Mila in shocked surprise. “Ma’am. That is not appropriate language to be using.”
“Oh please, Kash. I have no doubt you’ve said worse.” She rolls her eyes, balancing her weight so we don’t topple over.
“It’s fine, Mila. I’m okay now.” I don’t say it out loud, but I’m okay because I have her. She’s healing pieces of me I didn’t realize were still hurt.
My dad once told me that I’d find someone I would need the way the earth needs the sun. My whole life would revolve around that person. Like the earth to the sun, I wouldn’t be able to pull away. I’d be drawn into their gravity and not be the least bit mad about it. I wish he was here to see just how right he was.
Lying back down, she resumes her original position in the crook of my arm.
“Is this why?—”
“No more questions tonight, Sweetheart,” I cut her off. I have no doubt she was about to ask if it’s why I haven’t had relationships, and I’m not ready to answer her. Mila doesn’t realize the power she holds over me. I don’t know what I’d do if one day she woke up and decided she really couldn’t be with me at all. I mean, I’d probably cuff myself to her until she got over that feeling, but I never want her to have a reason to doubt me, or how I feel for her. To doubtus.
We lie in silence for another hour or so, staring at the stars. We take turns pointing out different constellations and meteors as they cut through the night sky. I make a wish onevery single one. It’s cold as fuck, and I don’t want her to get sick, but I’m not ready to give herup yet. Turning my head, I get ready to ask if she wants any of the cocoa from the thermos, but I find her asleep on my arm.
It would be crazy to sleep outside with her, right? It’s November, and maybe thirty degrees out, but we have blankets.Damn it. I hate the cold, but I want tonight with her. Cataloging her features, I note the way her brow furrows in her sleep, as if she’s fighting some internal battle.
I watch in fascination as her nose scrunches up, and then she sighs in contentment. The most important thing I focus on is how she feels in my arms. The way her body weighs nothing at all against mine. She’s all comfort and curves.
Under a blanket of stars, I gently pull my glove from one hand and skim my fingertips across her cheek, marveling at how warm and smooth her skin is. Her lips call to me as I breathe her scent in. They look so soft and full, begging for my touch. I just want a little morsel. As I press my lips to hers, stealing our first kiss, I know I’d give anything to have her kiss me back, but she’s still fighting us. My cock twitches at the contact, and I’m dying to tug off her cap, thread my fingers through her hair and hold her in place as I devour her mouth, but I can’t. Not yet.
I hope after tonight I’ve proven to her that I’m more than the playful, carefree guy I show everyone. More than the man who goes through women and discards them. IknowI have more I can offer her.
Quickly pulling back, I softly whisper her name, “Mila. Wake up, Sweetheart.” Tilting her face toward mine, I freeze when her eyes open and find mine.
Blinking away the sleepiness, Mila realizes how close we are and shuffles back a bit. I clear my throat and give her one of my patented Kash grins. “You ready to head out? I think we’ve seen all the meteors we will tonight.”
Nodding her head, she avoids my eyes, fixing her hat. When she attempts to sit up, I stop her.
“Wait here. Letme get out first.”
Gently sitting up, I swing my legs over the side of the hammock and attempt to stand up.
