Naturally, Nola won the second.
I nursed the same glass of wine all night, because I knew if I had more, Allison would corner me in the kitchen and get me to spill everything. Nola and I kept touching, whether we were actively trying to or not. Our fingers brushed when I passed her the serving bowl, our elbows grazing while we ate.
“I feel like it’s a good night for a fire outside.” Olive announced after we finished the chocolate lava cakes she made.
“And where exactly would we do that?” I asked.
“On the rooftop, there’s a table with a fire top situation.” Nola answered, giving me the opportunity to look at her full on.
“You should take her to the roof, Nolly. Get the fire started for us,” Olive instructed.
“It’s a full moon tonight; I know how much you like to stare at the sky.” Allison added.
I did love looking at the moon.
“You know me so well, green bean.” I batted my eyes before turning back to Nola. “Care to show me the way?”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
Nola
I led Bee to the private rooftop area attached to my aunts’ penthouse. The full moon hung so low it felt like I could touch the sky, the white glow so bright it provided enough light to see clearly.
“It’s so beautiful,” Bee marveled. It was as if this was the first time she was seeing the moon. As if it didn’t do this exact thing every month. Like I hadn’t heard her from across the hall, slide her own balcony door open to just stare and admire.
For two months I’d been memorizing the small things about Brittney Lee that created the whole version of her. From her everyday routines, her sense of humor, to the empathy she showed to the people in her real life and even the reality tv she watched. I realized she was the exact same person from when we were eighteen. Just more well rounded, more steady in herself.
She was such an open book, it made me want to reveal the pages in my own story. Fall open for her like how she dideveryday. I wanted her to see more of me, just like I got to see all of her.
The overwhelming feeling built slowly the longer I looked at her. It was a dull hum at first, a slow warmth compared to the instant heat I felt around her.
“I think stunning is a better word.”
My voice distracted her, and she focused wholly on me. The apprehension of who was watching was gone—it was just us and the moon. The smile that grew on her face lit me up inside; a spotlight reserved just for me. The electricity zapped whatever unaffected parts of my heart remained in my chest. I stepped closer to her, our shoulders back to touching like they were earlier tonight.
“Hi,” I whispered.
“Hi.”
“Can we talk?”
“We are talking.” She smiled at her own joke.
I took a breath and rephrased, the silence slowed my heart rate ever so slightly. I felt Brittney’s hand slip into mine, a silent encouragement, a blessing, a life raft, and it raced again. “I want to talk about us.”
Brittney tried to slip her hand out of mine, seemingly preparing for bad news, but I held on tighter.
“I already know what you’re going to say.” She turned away, her face back to looking at the sky, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “You don’t have to let me down easy; I’m a big girl.”
“Who says I’m letting you down?”
“Common sense and logic.” She rolled her head back to me. “The inevitable countdown that is our lives under a magnifying glass. We’ve been through this before.”
I nodded along, because objectively she was right, and I’m normally inclined to make the logical decision. But for once, Iwas tired of removing myself from my own life. I wanted to be emotional. I wanted to feel like I had a life I could control.
“You’re right. All of that, yes, of course. But…”
“But?”
