And as I suspected, my father knows exactly what I’m talking about.
“You are like me,” he says. “I was not in love with your mother when we married. Not the way I am now.”
“So, why did you marry her?”
“There was something.” He shrugs. “I also did not recognize it. And to be honest, it took me years to fully understand it. After you were born. Your mother was tired. Maybe a little bit of the postpartum depression—in those days we didn’t talk about these things—and she was angry. All the time. And one night she packed you up and left to her mother’s house. Told me she couldn’t be with a man so cold like me. And I let her go.”
I’ve never heard this story.
“I let her go because I thought I couldn’t change,” he continues. “That I am who I am, and either she loves me or she doesn’t.”
“What happened?”
“What happened was that my heart—my very soul—was empty without her. The apartment was quiet, yes, but it was more than that. I couldn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. I was a zombie. Going to work every day with nothing to look forward to. That was when I realized that the man I was, the man I thought I had to be because that’s how I was raised, was gone. The man I had become after meeting her, he couldn’t live without her. That’s love. True love. One of many definitions for being in love. We are a strong, proud people. Stubborn. Often stoic, reserved, cold even. But we do not have to be. Not all of the time.
“I make time to show your mother how I feel beyond the bedroom. A touch of her hand when we’re in a group of people. Even if she’s busy cooking and serving and socializing. I’ll touch her and she turns. She may tell me to leave her alone, that she’s busy, but then a moment later she will do the same thing. A touch. A smile. A look in her eyes. This is what works for us. I’m not saying this is how you will be with your wife, but don’t wait until she leaves to figure out how you feel. Because this isn’t Russia. If Holly leaves, she doesn’t need you. There are no children.
“And if you give her a reason to go, she may not come back.”
Our situation is different, but parts of what he’s said makes sense.
“I don’t want her to go,” I admit quietly.
“Then give her many reasons to stay.”
“I’m not sure anything is that simple.”
“Make it that simple. Be the man she needs you to be. Not just the rich hockey player. Not just a good time in the bedroom. Be her man. In every sense of the word. Show her every day, even when you are tired or distracted by hockey, how important she is. If you love her, and I think you do, don’t take her for granted. That’s what I did, and she left. Be better, Viktor.”
I have no idea how I’d feel if she left, but I know with everything I am, I don’t want to be the reason she leaves.
And it has nothing to do with our agreement.
Chapter Nineteen
Holly
With Viktor busy with hockey, I’m left with the task of entertaining his family. I take them to the Georgia Aquarium and the World of Coca-Cola in Atlanta one day, and then we all go to dinner that evening. The next night is game three, which the team wins, and we finally have a little alone time once we get home after the game. His family is at the hotel, I’m picking them up tomorrow to take them shopping and out to lunch while Viktor is at practice, and then they’re coming here for dinner.
West and Serena graciously offered to cook, so they’re going to spend some time with us but also with some of Viktor’s closest friends. Kelly is coming over too, and West mentioned inviting a few of their other friends on the team, to make it a low-key party for his family. Since we won’t be closing on the new house until almost a week later than we originally planned, we’re trying to keep them busy.
“Thank you for being so good with my parents,” he says as we get ready for bed. “I know this is a lot for you.”
“It’s fine,” I reply. “Ever since they found out my dad is a senator, they’ve been pretty nice. And Olga is still gushing about meeting Alexa Humboldt.”
“This is good. My mother is also better now that she has seen the marriage certificate.”
“They’re going to stay for as long as you’re still playing, right?”
He nods. “If we go to the championship, yes, they will stay until it’s over.”
“And then?”
“And then I think we will take a small vacation together. Maybe to Disney World. My mother loves it.”
“Ugh. Orlando in June. Hot as balls.”
He arches a brow. “Balls are hot?”
