She looked out over the rushing water, herblood coursing as wild and swift through her veins.“I know.”
He laid a hand on her shoulder and gave it agentle squeeze.“I know you know, and so does the Wolf.We can becertain he is counting on it.”
She swallowed and nodded.“He’s counting onmy fear,” she said.
“Because he doesn’t know you.”
“No?”
Aleksi shook his head.“No.”He pushed aloose strand of hair back from her cheek.“I’ve heard the story ofyour cousin Ommar’s death.Of how you, Ommar, Asim, and Munir weretossed from your makeshift raft into a rain swollen river.ThatAsim and Munir made it to shore safely, and you made it to therocks on the other shore, but that Ommar had injured his back andcouldn’t climb onto the rocks.You held onto him as long as youcould, but the river was too strong, and you, a ten-year-old girl,not strong enough.”
She hung her head and flexed her fingers, theold shame filling her.
“What the Wolf doesn’t know and I do is thatyou are not the little girl who could not save her cousin,” Aleksisaid.“You never were.”
“Why do you say that when everyone else, mybrother, who was there, my parents, Ommar’s parents, everyone, saysexactly that?”
“Because they don’t know you as I do.”
She swiped at the sudden rush of heat to hercheeks.“Nobody does,” she said, glad the dark of night hid herfurious blush.
“True enough,” he said with a cocky grin.“But what I meant, my tigress, is that nobody else seems to knowthat you didn’t let go of your cousin.Ommar let go of you.”
The heat rushed from Sahar’s cheeks to herspinning head, and her ears rang with Ommar’s last words.Letgo, cousin.Let me go.You must let me go.
“How do you know this?”She’d never toldanybody what Ommar said, what he’d done.Not even her brother orMunir, who’d been there.She had barely admitted it to herself.“Nobody knows this.”
Aleksi reached over and pulled her to him,holding her tight.“I told you, I know you, my fierce tigress,” hewhispered into her hair.“I know you would die before letting go,and so did Ommar.That is why he let go, to keep you from beingpulled in with him.”
She buried her face into Aleksi’s shoulder.“He died to save me,” she whimpered.
“No,” he said, leaning back and cupping herchin, holding her gaze.“He was as good as dead already, and heknew it.He wasn’t going to let you die needlessly with him.Inthat moment the boy Ommar chose to die as a man.”
Ommar’s eyes, wide with fear and panic cameto her, as did the way they had calmed, the way he had smiled,perfectly at peace right before he’d let go of her hand.Sheshuddered, and when she could speak again, her voice was raw withthe pain she had lived with for the past ten and two years.
“Ommar may have died a man, but I havecarried the guilt of his death since I was a girl.I fear I’llalways carry it.”
Aleksi rubbed the pad of his thumb along herclenched jaw, easing some of her tension.He smiled, but when hespoke, his voice, his expression, were serious.“My father oncetold me that courage was not a lack of fear.It’s the strength tofight through that fear, to stand up for what you believe is right,to do whatever is needed to make it right.You, my tigress, havethis courage.You’ve shown this courage time and again.I’ve seenit.I see it now burning deep in your eyes.The Wolf hasn’t becausehe sees only what he wishes to see, which more often than not isnothing more than his own pretty reflection.”
Sahar sniffed and nodded and pressed Aleksi’spalm to her lips.He may be proud, stubborn, and arrogant, but hewas also strong and true.He didn’t lie, not to her, even when itwould have been easier to, and she believed him and felt thewelcome stirrings of her courage rise up from her belly and light afire in her veins.
“Do we swim with Z?”she asked, “or tie himoff on this side of the river?”
Aleksi gave her a smacking kiss and a playfulslap on her backside.“We swim with Z,” he said, and then all hisplayfulness was gone.“Swear to me that if anything happens to me,you will jump on his back and swim right back across this river andride away as if your life depends on it, because it will.”When shedidn’t answer, he insisted, “Swear you will.”
She held up her hand.“I swear I will,” shesaid, and then dropped her hand and muttered under her breath,“not.”
Aleksi cocked his head as if trying to figureout what, if anything, she’d said after swearing to ride off on Z.Not that it would matter.Nothing he said or did would sway herfrom going after Lasair tonight.
“So be it,” he said with a resigned shrug.Hecrept back to the copse of trees where Z was tied and kicked offhis boots, and then untied his belt and his breeches, letting themdrop to his bare feet.
She rolled her eyes.“This is not the time orthe place for any of that,” she said, waving at his half hardcock.
“No?”he asked with a low chuckle as hepulled his tunic up and over his head.“It’s time to strip, unlessyou wish to try to sneak up on the Worm and the Tall with drippingwet, sloshing clothes, and then fight them wearing damp, chafingleathers.”
He rolled up his clothes and pulled his otterskin cloak out, grinning from ear to ear as she doffed boots,tunic, and breeches, her nipples pebbling in the cold night air.She handed her clothes over, and he wrapped them with his.Then hetied the bundle of clothes and both pairs of boots on top of Z’ssaddle.
He strapped his sword to his bare back andheld the belt with his waist blade out to her.“Just in case,” hesaid, tying the belt around her waist, his hands lingering on herbare skin a moment.
