I hate that small, nagging voice.
My phone pings with a text from the landlord, checking in. Mr. Piersanti means well, I’m sure of it. Still doesn’t make it easier that suddenly, it feels like the store expansion would be a terrible idea. I’m not sure if it’s just fear kicking in or if I’ve met my limit.
Or that I’m hopelessly in love with an irresistible hockey player who’s turned my life upside down.
Probably that.
With a frustrated sigh, I toss my laptop aside. Tea. Everything will feel better with a cup of tea. I stand, and my feet sink into the gorgeous area rug covering the gleaming hardwood floors. It’s such a beautiful space, one that fits Jack perfectly. It’s a balance of modern and mid-century and just… cool.
There are no kitschy magnets on his fridge or hand-painted doodles around the doorways. Everything is clean and new and smells divine. Like eucalyptus and cedar. I’m sure there’s some fancy air freshener around here. My books are stacked on the ottoman, and the blanket I’m wrapped in he bought for me. Little reminders of me are scattered everywhere, but they can easily be cleaned up, pushed aside.
I stretch to my tiptoes and open the tall kitchen cabinet, scouring it for tea. Not sure why I thought he’d have any. It’s all whole-bean coffee and electrolytes.
Maybe I’ll get dressed and grab some from the coffee shop on the corner. Or I could text him? How long was practice going t?—
A key scrapes against the lock, and I hold my breath as the door clicks open.
Jack steps in, freezing as he’s about to drop his gear with a wide, earnest smile. No crooked grin, no charm. That’s all fallen away.
My hand fumbles for the counter behind me, and I fall back against the hard granite.
“Hey,” he says softly.
Tears spring to my eyes, but I force a wobbly smile. “You don’t have tea.”
Of all the things to say? But my brain can’t catch up to what I’m seeing. Having Jack walk through the door of his penthouse, smiling at me like I belong nowhere else, and that…
He didn’t tell me he loved me three days ago. Not last night when I showed up at his door with an overnight bag and Thai food, not when he went down on me in the shower this morning before he left for practice.
Not even now.
My chest tightens, my smile still stubbornly stuck on my face.
“I’ll get tea.” Jack drops his bags, tosses his keys on the counter, and scoops my face into his hands. “Why are you crying?”
His voice is so gentle, like the light in his eyes, like the damn smile again that hasn’t dropped. Even the way he holds me in his hands… it’s as if he expects me to crumple. Maybe it’s obvious that my knees are shaking.
He didn’t say he loved me. He doesn’t have to. And it’s stupid to wait. Even dumber to expect because he doesn’t owe me anything. It’s my fault. I’ve tried so hard to tell myself his silence doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t. I knew this was going to happen, but I was starting to let myself believe I was someone worth choosing anyway.
“Izzy, sweetheart, it’s so nice seeing you here when I walk through the door.” His voice cracks as his thumbs sweep over my wet cheekbones. “We’ve always moved fast, so why don’t you just move in? I’ll buy you all the tea in the world.”
The laugh doesn’t come. My smile doesn’t either.
Jack makes a confused noise in the back of his throat.
“Okay, I’ll buy you a ring first.” He smirks, and I pretend not to notice how it wobbles. “Get your shoes on…”
I scoff, pushing my fists against his stomach. He smells like his expensive soap, all clean and freshly showered.
“What’s going on?” he asks, dropping his hands from my cheeks.
I hastily wipe my eyes with the backs of my hands and blow out a breath. “How was practice?”
I hate how easily I’m knocked off balance by the bruise by his eye and his split lip.
“Good, fine.” He’s too busy studying me to notice me slipping away from between him and the kitchen island until I’m walking back toward the couch.
“Great.” I scan the living room, grab my slippers by the ottoman, my laptop on the coffee table, and practically run into his bedroom to stuff everything in my overnight bag. I can’t be here. Not anymore. I don’t want?—
