Was he embarrassed? He should be; he acted like an entitled moron.
We crossed the threshold, and my attention drifted to the flowery smells that clung to our place. ‘Because my mother took so much, we aren’t sure if it’s even possible to grow them back. Or I’m not sure; they all seem to think it just needs time.’
River’s finger grazed my hand momentarily before disappearing. ‘It probably does, Ava. Besides, look at how you got your fire; maybe the time you get your shadows will be as spectacular.’
‘Maybe. I really hope so. Everyone is relying on me getting them. The pressure is… it’s just… My family is shadow royalty; if I don’t have any shadows, wouldn’t that be humiliating for them?’
‘What?’ He closed the curtains and whipped back to me. ‘They’re your family; I’m sure they don’t care what powers you have.’
‘No, I know they don’t. But the other dark fae might.’ I slouched on the corner of the king-sized bed and rested my elbows on my knees. ‘I’ve already been a disappointment in one court, I don’t think I can bear to be one in theirs too.’
His stare bore into mine as his hands cupped my face. ‘You are special and perfect just the way you are. Even without your powers. Even before you released your fire.’
A tear slipped from the corner of my eye, catching against his fingers. ‘Thank you.’
‘Don’t ever think like that again,’ he whispered softly, his voice brushing against my senses.
I touched the hand resting on my cheek, gazing into his warm, beautiful eyes. ‘I’ll try not to.’
Then he kissed my forehead, and I lost it.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Avari
Like an explosion, the space between our bodies vanished. Lacking inhibition, determined to reach their target, the flames within me burst toward River, forcing him to take a small, steadying step back. Then, as if he’d lost his restraint, his answered mine, spiralling around us in a wild chase, trapping us inside a heated capsule that wasn’t nearly as terrifying as I had imagined.
I missed it. It felt like home.
Our fires teased and tugged at one another, as if scolding me for holding them apart for so long. All they craved was closeness—intertwined energies, shared breath. It was freeing, protective… as if, at that moment, nothing in the realm could ever hurt me again. Like nothing could ever hurt us. It felt as though a part of me, long misplaced, had finally found its way back.
Neither of us spoke. We simply felt. Lost in the pressure and heat coursing through our bodies as our restless flames rushed to make up for lost time.
We were one. Our senses blurred, our bodies attuned, allowing us to feel each other in a way that bordered on overwhelming. His dominant energy remained careful, almost reverent, urging mine to yield without force. My flames chased the high of being consumed by his. The energy surging through us felt like light. It was life.
Behind me, the bedding began to smoulder, the rising heat dragging my attention back. Reluctantly, I pulled my flames in. Satisfied with their brief connection, they didn’t resist.
River’s faded more slowly, lingering as they brushed against my face one last time. His pupils were blown wide, swallowing the amber of his eyes.
Feeling awkward, I stood, casting a small oxygen-free dome over the bed area that caught fire before getting back to the intrigued-looking King of Fire.
‘I waited so long for that,’ he said, utterly breathless. ‘I almost forgot what it was like to feel so… alive.’
‘I…’
‘Didn’t mean to do that?’ he finished, smiling gently and holding my gaze. ‘I know you didn’t. You have no idea how much it cost me to stop myself at times. You have nothing to be ashamed of.’
‘It’s just… we’re spending so much time together lately, and my fire keeps pushing and pushing and urging me to give in. It’s maddening.’
Amusement flickered in his eyes. ‘I feel the same.’
‘Then how do you cope?’
His fiery gaze dragged over me, slow and deliberate. I shivered. ‘I get to spend time with you; at this point I’m grateful I have that. Even if I’m holding on to hope that you may someday forgive me.’
Forgiveness.
Forgiveness was a delicate thing between us. How could I tell him I had already looked past what he’d done long ago? That didn’t mean I could trust him the way I once had.
