‘Are you still scared of her?’ His voice cut slightly.
I considered it. ‘Aren’t you?’
A loud exhale. ‘I’m not scared of her specifically, though I’m wary of how unpredictable she is. But I’m scared of her effect on you.’
‘Her effect on me? I want her defeated and locked up,’ Iraised my voice.
‘So do I.’ River stayed calm. ‘I’m not questioning your intentions.’
‘Then what do you mean?’
Silence. He stared for a while before whispering, ‘Just that I wish your life wasn’t as tough as I’m coming to understand it was.’
I didn’t know what to say. People either didn’t care about my struggles or pitied me; I found both reactions equally annoying and preferred they didn’t know about my past at all. Tightness spread down my throat, squeezing until it was unbearable.
My past was my burden to bear. Nobody else’s. ‘I don’t want to talk about that.' My voice came out sharper than I intended.
‘Of course.' He cleared his throat and shifted to look at the flailing fabric ceiling when I continued to ignore him. ‘How much do you know about the blood witches?’
‘Whatever I could find in old literature in Miriam’s library. That they’re witches with the ability to drain anyone who uses their power against them, and the stronger ones by touch.’
River’s sharp intake of air worried me. ‘Which one do you think she is?’
‘I never used my shadows against her,’ I said solemnly. ‘I didn’t even know I had them.’
‘So she drains by touch. Marvellous,’ River groaned, whacking his forearms against his forehead. ‘Did you feel it?’
‘Feel what?’
The wind howled, drowning out his words until he gave it a moment. ‘Did you feel your power slipping away as she drained you?’
‘I can’t recall any particular moments when she had done it. But I was never very strong to begin with, so I have no comparison. She must have been draining me ever since my powers appeared.’
River tooka sip of water, looking a little restless. ‘Did she ever curse you in any other way before that time when she meant to keep you in Ortensia?’
How was that related to blood witches? ‘I don’t think so, why are you asking?’
‘The way your fire emerged, it’s like we had to lure it out. If it were drained, it wouldn’t break out like that. It was like a dam broke and it flooded out… I’ve never seen anything like it.' The fascination in his tone broke me out in shivers.
I sat up. ‘Why didn’t you say something?’
‘When I took you to the Volcano Lands I thought you would just get better control or maybe grow them a tiny bit like it’s usually done in training.’ A faint blush rose along his cheekbones as he drew a steadying breath. ‘My head wasn’t in the right place to question what I was seeing, to be honest.’
Oh. The almost-kiss we shared wrecked me too. And then I made a fool of myself with my ovulation, and we actually kissed. Followed by all the other drama, I never stopped to question it either.
‘And strangest of all, I couldn’t sense them when we connected.’ Pressing his lips together tightly, he considered his next words. ‘Not when I healed you and not the times after. It’s like they expanded a thousandfold within seconds.’
A restless energy prickled under my skin. ‘What do you think it means?’
‘I’ve been researching it myself because I don’t want the information to fall into untrustworthy hands,’ he said, his voice too calm. ‘But I couldn’t find anything yet.’
Of course. ‘That’s worrying, isn’t it?’
‘Unfortunately.’
Chapter Eighteen
Miriam
