On the way back to the portal room, the silence stretched, charged with everyone’s impatience to speak, yet nobody dared. Nobody cared to start this difficult conversation before retrieving the grimoire.
The Queen of Ortensia would be defeated, and though I doubted it would be accomplished with my hands, I would help in any way I could.
The portal flared to life, and Elder Ramonds stepped in without as much as glancing back. He was gone in a moment, leaving us with more questions than ever.
Taking a long breath, I watched River set the destination and how it buzzed with energy, beckoning us in.
I cast my father a look and warned him, ‘Stay quiet and follow me. I know corridors that they rarely use. We don’t want to fight them today; we go in and out.’
The lord groaned at my reprimand. ‘Youthink I don’t know that?’
Who did he think he was fooling? He itched to make my mother pay, and he was as impulsive as all the other fae men. ‘Just making sure. Wouldn’t be the first time that your impulsive decisions got us into trouble.’
An agonised expression flashed on his face, gone in an instant.
A presence behind my back tore my attention away from my father’s past mistakes. Especially since warmth I could never forget flooded my senses. It was prepared for battle, ready to strike whatever waited on the other side. But it caressed my skin in soothing circles, calming my nerves and clearing my screaming mind. I couldn't believe my body betrayed me like this.
‘We should cross together. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you if they've set traps,’ River pleaded, his eyes glistening in the portal’s warm ambience.
For a second, he was still the one I trusted with my life. Then it all rushed back, threatening to rip out my heart.
I contemplated refusing him, choosing somebody else to cross with just because I couldn’t bear the thought of staying so close. Not when my power thrashed enough to make me question my sanity. Soon it would make me physically tremble.
It longed for him more than it ever had.
Every time I crossed its path and shoved it deeper inside me, it defied me. Never before had it been so unyielding. The weeks apart made it thirst for the unattainable. It craved to chase his scent of lemon and oakmoss through the room until I too had lost myself in it. It was maddening.
But his plan made sense. My family’s powers didn’t work in Ortensia. And I wasn’t trained in battle; as much as my raging flames tried to persuade me into a sense of confident delusion, it was obvious someone like me would stand at a trained soldier’s mercy. And as much as I detested him right now, I knew River wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt me.
He saw me as his.
A mate. An extension of his soul.
His declarations echoed in my mind as I looked at a handsome face my fingers itched to touch. He claimed I reawakened his dying soul. How could I have when, currently, I felt like I had none?
‘Okay.’ Two syllables. It was all I could manage to whisper as he pushed a cover of his power around me. It formed a shield, making it difficult to focus on anything but him. Wrapping around my limbs, it made me feel incapacitated. ‘Is this necessary?’
His power twitched around me like it was reluctant to let go.
‘We don’t know what’s on the other side. It’ll keep you safe if I have to fight,’ he insisted, as his darkening eyes lit up the moment I failed to keep my flames away from his. Though he breathed it in, he had enough sense not to comment, as once again I pushed it so deep inside it felt like I might burst.
Beads of sweat coated my forehead before I wiped them off and asked, ‘Maybe just tone it down a little.’
River rubbed his temples, sighing. ‘Why? We know she has no qualms about hurting you.’
Was he doing this on purpose?
‘It’s distracting. Reduce it now,’ I seethed through clenched teeth, making his eyes widen with that familiar mischievous glint.
Dick.
‘Perhaps it wouldn’t chafe as much if you—’
‘Don’t.’
Whatever he saw on my face made him remove half of it, and the change allowed me to breathe. Was that how being next to him always would be?
Maybe I needed to avoid him. Something inside my chest clenched at the thought.
