That made sense. Why hadn’t I thought of that?
They needed to know. Whatever had happened there was bigger than all of us. Bigger than the grimoire and maybe even bigger than the gem war. The sheer number of people murdered and left to rot… It wasn’t just inhumane; it was evil.
‘Ava?’ Father broke through my contemplations. Concern glistened in his dark eyes. ‘Were you listening?’
Clearing my throat, I met his gaze and noticed that Miriam still looked sickly pale as she sat beside him. The poor girl would probably get nightmares. Or was that impossible for someone who commanded them?
Gods, I needed to learn more about shadows.
‘Ava?’ Father repeated.
River’s hand settled on my knee. At first, the sudden touch made me flinch, which surprised him. I quickly leaned back in my chair to look less… disturbed.
They shouldn’t have been worrying about me; there were bigger problems they needed to focus on.
His warm hand rubbed the skin above my kneecaps, and I silently cursed. It shouldn’t have, but it helped me. Treacherous fire, meet treacherous body. How long until my mind gave up on me too?
Embarrassed to keep them waiting, as they watched for a response, I hurriedly responded, ‘Yes?’
They glanced at each other before the Lord of the Isles sighed and continued, ‘I was asking how you’re feeling. I know you don’t usually deal with—’
He paused, looking for a fitting description.
‘Death,’ River offered solemnly.
They worried about me. I worried about the future of our realm. Everyone expected the queen to go after her enemies, but she went after her own. What did that make her besides deranged? And how did one fight somebody so unpredictable?
A slight tap ripped me away from the assault of thoughts.
River shifted in his seat, his massive shoulders angled toward me, as if he could shield me from the darkness of the world.
‘I can speak for you,’ he offered in a voice so soft it was almost unlike him, looking at me as though I were some fragile thing always in need of saving. It was in his eyes, this worry that I could die or break at any moment. ‘If you’re not up for it, I’ll tell them what we saw. It’s not like they aren’t there judging the situation in person already.’
The way he cared for me made it difficult to hate him. But he wasn’t forgiven. He couldn't be. ‘No. I can’t keep burying my head in the sand every time something bad happens.’
Something in his face faltered. ‘Don’t look at it like that. You’re not a soldier, so you aren’t used to such carnage. I would never have let you go there if I’d known what awaited us.’
There we go. The bubble had burst, confirming what I’d realised some time ago. ‘I’m not your property, River. You don’t get to order me around.’
He paled. ‘It’s not what I meant, Ava, just that—’
‘Save it.’
A sigh ripped from my chest as I noticed our captivated audience. Did they not have the decency to look away?
Father made a small tsk sound, and just before I could obliterate him verbally, the door opened. The man we had met earlier greeted us with a curt nod.
Closing the distance in long strides, he ignored us until he reached a chair at the very end of the table. Pushing his cloak aside, Ramonds folded his arms on his chest. ‘This was unexpectedly prompt. I thought I’d have at least a few weeks before meeting you again.’
The Lord of the Isles snorted, and I shot him a look promising consequences if he didn’t behave. Surprisingly, it worked.
Maybe I just needed to be meaner to get people to act right?
‘That’s what I’ve been telling you for ages. Make them respect you, or wipe the floor with them,’ Anya reprimanded in my mind.
‘How do you suppose I should have done that, being a powerless excuse for a halfling?’
She screeched. ‘That is precisely the mindset that keeps holding you back. Man up.’
