The answer to that is obviously no, but he’s everything I’ve ever wanted.
Strong, attentive, protective, sweet, thoughtful, possessive, and gorgeous.
Which brings me back to the one question I can’t answer. What does he want with me?
I’m a skinny damaged gay boy and he’s a straight, sexy mob boss.
Maybe I should have taken more time to think through what was happening instead of just ignoring the red flags and falling for the guy anyway.
And why am I falling for him?
He never said he likes me or wants to date me!
“I understand that you’re upset, but I’m not giving up on you.”
Ugh!
What does that mean?
He’s very protective of me, and likes to spoil me, and likes to snuggle me. But does he want to snuggle his dick inside my ass?
Do I want that?
Hell yeah, I do, but I’m nervous it might hurt or trigger me.
Maybe he just wants to adopt me like a pet? He can care for me, I can keep him company, and we can have a platonic relationship.
But I really want his dick.
It has to be big, a man that size… mmmm.
My mouth waters just thinking about it.
But can I have a relationship with a man who doesn’t want me physically? I mean, I love sex and I miss having it, but other than a few twitches when I hear big boss Daddy’s voice over the phone, it’s been basically dormant down there. So maybe I’d be fine without the sex?
My therapist says it’s the trauma, but what if Lex wants me and I can’t do it?
Would he still want me?
Or would he kill me and then Brendan because he’s a mob boss?
No, he wouldn’t hurt me physically, I know it deep down, but emotionally?
That remains to be seen.
I throw myself down on the bed with a huff and try to unravel my thoughts.
Which door was it again?
My legs wobble as I walk to door number one, but it’s locked.
Door number two is so blurry that even on my knees I can’t see the handle.
The third door is solid as I crash into it and then roll through.
My whole body aches as I try to look around the room.
It’s dark, but I can see it’s a classroom. The desk chairs are all up, and the floors smell like pine trees. It’s so strong it’s making me nauseous. I try to get up but my hand slips and my head crashes back to the floor. Fuck, that really hurt! Maybe I’ll just lie here for a while until my head stops throbbing, but the ground is hard.
