“Are you still having trouble sleeping?”
“No,” I lie.
“Rory…” Brendan scolds.
“I don’t like the medication, and I can’t keep crawling into your bed every time I get scared. Someday you’re going to get married and she’ll hate me.”
“I would never marry someone who’d hate you.”
“Yeah, I know, but…”
“Let’s not worry about that right now. Besides, I’d need to find someone to marry me first.”
He’s right. How’s he ever going to find anyone if he’s always at home with me? God, I’m such a pathetic human.
I’ll try to be more independent, but baby steps.
“Maybe for an hour. But only in the morning,” I clarify.
“Same rules still apply at night. If I need to go out for an emergency, I’ll always wake you first.”
“And let me come with you,” I prompt, and he pauses which makes me nervous before he nods.
It’s not a solid yes, but it’s close enough to hold my panic at bay.
I’m working on the blanket I’m knitting in my room when I hear the front door shut.
Oh no. Is someone here?
No, that’s ridiculous, it’s only seven-thirty in the morning.
That means the noise I heard was Brendan leaving for the gym.
Wait! I’m alone.
Yes, and that’s okay.
This is what we planned.
I knew Brendan was going to leave, and I’m going to be here, by myself.
Simple.
I should get up and take a shower.
But then I’ll be naked, and I won’t be able to bring my taser in the shower cause water plus electricity equals death.
What if someone comes in while I’m so vulnerable?
Yeah, no shower.
It’s fine. It’s not like I did anything that caused me to get sweaty.
How about I just lie here and read for a bit?
That’s what I would normally do even if Brendan was still home, so I’ll pretend he’s here, just in another room.
It works for a while, but when the door camera signals an alert, I find myself jumping off the bed and grabbing my taser.
