“Come on, I’ll make dinner.” I grab his hand and take him to the living room.
“Don’t we need to be in the kitchen to make dinner?”
“Nope.”
I take out my phone and order Geno’s. “Now we can have our pizza date in person.”
“That’s a wonderful idea, but I hope you got me onions and anchovies on my half.” Leo laughs at the shocked look on my face. “I’m fine with plain cheese.”
“But I remember you said you liked pepperoni.”
“I did say that.”
“So I got half and half.”
“That’s a great compromise.” He sits down on the couch. “Come sit with me. I want to show you some things that I’ve found.”
“Okay.” I jump on the couch next to him, and he bounces.
“Careful, babe. You’ll send me flying.”
“Sorry.” I look down. I don’t want to hurt him.
He kisses my forehead. “No problem. Now look at what I’ve found in an internet rabbit hole.” He opens a website called “Little Needs,” and I smile at the title. “So I may have marked a few things that I would like, mostly clothes for you.” He shows me his favorite list, and my head starts to spin.
“I, um…” I take a deep breath. “I’m?—?”
“Are you okay?” He takes my hands.
“Yes, but it’s a lot.”
“Sorry, babe, I get overexcited sometimes when I find something I like.”
“I don’t mind, but small, remember?”
Leo laughs now. “Normally the Daddy has to be the one to say no.”
“I’m not saying no, but I need a minute to warm up to the idea. I mean, I like the idea, but I’ve never put it into practice, and I’m worried it will be too much for me all at once.”
“It’s okay.” He pulls me to his side, and I snuggle in tight. “How about one outfit and one toy?”
“Maybe two toys?” I ask sweetly.
“Anything for you, sweet boy.”
I’ve been lying in bed for about ten minutes, and I’m starting to get desperate now. I really don’t want to wake him because he’s probably jet-lagged from his trip last night, but either he needs to wake up and help me or I’m going to need to get up and head home. But his arm is wrapped so tight around me, and he’s been snuggling me all night. I don’t want this to end.
I wait another two minutes and the pressure is too much, so I move carefully away from his hold.
“Where are you going, big boy?” His voice is rough with sleep. “It’s too early.”
“I have to go to the bathroom.” Not exactly what I need, but it will help. Leo lets me up and snuggles my pillow instead. “Hurry back. It’s cold without you.”
That was the last thing I needed him to say. I can’t hurry if I’m trying to hand express my milk. That never works.
But I try anyway, and I return to bed more frustrated than before.
“Are you alright?” Leo looks up at me.
