Ienter my parent’s house without knocking. I used to enjoy being home alone, getting lost in my mind to write and practice without worrying what anything sounds like. I could test sounds, lyrics, anything without being self-conscious when it sounds horrible. But lately the last thing I want is to be alone.
When I’m alone every noise is amplified; I swear I can feel eyes on me and I just have an overall unease. I won’t admit it to anyone because I’m worried they’ll think I’m losing my mind.
At least I don’t think I am.
Grayson is on his road trip with his team, and Asher said he started some physical therapy. I don’t know if it’s official, or if he’s pushing himself too much too fast, but I don’t think I have much say in the matter with him.
I made up an excuse to my mom, saying I wanted to toy with some songs with her. She would never question me wanting to come over. I could use some time with just her and my dad because I doubt my brothers are around. Steele is so focused on training for the next Olympics, and Nash is…well he’s Nash, I don’t know what he does most of the time.
He’s a professional baseball player, but is off until Springtraining. He finds ways to fill his time during the off season, and I don’t need to know how or with who. Unless it’s serious, he doesn’t bring any guys around us. If he brings anyone around, they’ll be subjected to the same treatment as any boyfriend or girlfriend of ours. Which includes intense grilling questions, and invasion of privacy.
Maybe a background check, but that one is usually denied. Though, I don’t know how else Evie’s dad’s found out about a ticket one of her college boyfriends had. We never saw him again after she brought him home once.
Luckily for me, my family already knows Grayson…and Asher…kind of. Though, I have no idea how they’ll react if they find out we’re all…seeing each other? Is that what we’re doing? Or are we just messing around?
I don’t even know; when I think about it too much my head hurts. Which is why I’m here for a distraction.
“Mom?” I call out to the large house, but then I hear the piano in the distance and follow the melody.
It’s hauntingly beautiful, slower and something I haven’t heard before. She’s not singing like she sometimes does. Just playing, the notes ringing out, and I feel them in my chest and start to hum along as it settles in my bones. She punches the keys harder during what I think would be the bridge. I feel it, the emotion in the music. Even without any lyrics it still feels so powerful and I open my note app on my phone pulling up some lyrics I wrote down one night when I was in bed.
Sometimes things hit me and I try to write them down. Even if they don’t make sense in the moment, even if they never make sense. I feel the need to get them out anyway. The words I settle on would match the haunting melody, and as she lingers on the last chord, I approach the bench.
“Do you have lyrics with that yet?” I ask, sitting next to her.
She smiles at me, her red hair so similar to mine, her eyes are more green where mine are blue, but I see why people say we look alike. I’m a little taller than her, but I definitely look morelike her than my dad. Except the dimples in her cheeks, I didn’t get those, but my oldest brother Steele did.
“Not yet, I just threw this together. Do you?”
I nod. “They’re pretty rough.”
“That’s okay,” she encourages like she always does as her fingers start the song once again.
I feel the music again, waiting for the perfect time that my scribbled down lyrics could fit. When she hits a lower chord I feel it in my chest, and I sing the first line while she plays.
Love is a tragedy.
She continues, and so do I, continuing to get a feel for the song. Humming at parts I’m not sure of yet.
Young turns to old.
Color fades to gray.
Joy turns to sadness.
And in the end someone ends up alone.
Everyone says love is beautiful.
Love is a fairytale.
Love is magic.
But they lie.
True love is a tragedy.
The song continues, and I tinker with the lyrics some more. And at the end my mom turns to me.
