Fine, we both do.
Grayson
Was that so hard?
Dad
Yes.
I chuckle at the text exchange. I can practically hear my dad’s voice through the phone joking with me.
“You texting your girlfriend?” my teammate, Collins, ribs.
“Why? You jealous?” I taunt, tossing my phone down.
“I think everyone in the world is jealous of your relationship with Rae Sparks.” My other teammate, Hernandez shoves my shoulder.
I just shake my head, they’ve all given me shit about this just like we both got growing up. I used to deny it, then eventually I stopped and now it feels wrong to. I don’t know what we’re doing, but things have shifted. That’s completely obvious, but I can’t help the pang of insecurity knowing things have shifted with her and Asher too.
If she wants him, I may be able to accept it eventually. If she wantsjusthim? I’ll have to see them all the time and I’ll have to move on with my life knowing what it felt like to have her for a moment.
The reality that could be her choice really hit me the other night when I know she saw him after the BBQ. We’ve talked briefly, but things get chaotic during season; I had a game anddaily practice. Which is also probably why my dad is harassing me about missing me. I swear him and my mom get more needy during season because Easton and I are both so busy. They see us enough in the summer, but then it’s never enough once fall and winter come around.
Before I jump in the shower I text Rae, needing her to know that I’m thinking about her. Once I press send, I toss my phone back into my bag and jump in the shower, trying my best to wash away all the worries and insecurities bubbling up. It’s easy to seem perfect and like you have all your shit together when you grew up like I did. But what no one talks about is the pressure that comes with it.
Everything that seems perfect, never is. Even if it seems like it on the surface.
I manageto get roped into going to my parent’s house for dinner. I have a home game tomorrow, then I have a three-day road trip. I thought about inviting Rae over too, but I kind of wanted to talk to my mom and ask if she has any wisdom for me.
At some point I think about talking to my uncle, Brent, since he would understand my situation more than everyone. And maybe I will. Eventually. But then I think about how uncomfortable that could be, and I change my mind. Not that I need to talk about the dirty details, I’m mostly just wanting to get my mind in order.
“Welcome home, Son!” My dad greets, opening the door as soon as I step on the front porch.
“I haven’t lived here in like four years.” I walk past him to get inside.
“This will always be your home.”
We walk in and see Easton leaning against the kitchen counter while my mom stirs something on the stove.
“You’re late,” he comments.
“There’s no being late when there wasn’t a set time to arrive.”
“Oh the golden boy has returned,” my brother jokes and I shake my head, walking to the other side of my mom to peek at what she’s cooking.
“Smells good,” I tell her and she smiles up at me.
“Let’s hope it tastes just as good. You know I’m not the best cook.”
“Better than dad.” I shrug. “And Easton.”
“It was one time, I was trying to meal plan,” my twin defends.
“Good thing you make enough money to pay someone to do that for you now, isn’t it?” I taunt.
“You could too.”
“I could, but I’m capable of cooking chicken without it turning to rubber.”
