“How much do you think I could fit in my mouth?” she asks suddenly and I groan.
“As much as you want, it’s yours. It’s all yours.”
I’m all yours.
“Would you come down my throat?”
“Jesus, fuck, yes, wherever you want, Sunshine.” My hand chokes my cock; I’m not able to hold off anymore, especially with her talking like this. This is another side to her, one I didn’t expect, but I want more of.
“Come for me.”
And I do. With a groan, I come, coating my hand and my stomach, wishing it was with her.
I flip the camera back around as I come down from the high of my orgasm. I’m sure I have a satiated smile on my face that matches hers.
She gets serious for a second. “You sure you’re not mad?”
“Kinda hard to be mad after that,” I joke, but her face twists with concern. “I’m not mad. But just know when I’m back in Denver you’re mine. We’re making that little fantasy a reality as soon as possible.”
She smiles, and I can tell she likes the idea of it. She looks like she wants to say more, but doesn’t.
When we hang up, I can’t help but think about everything that just happened. The lines we crossed. The fact that she was with Asher. What if she wants to see him again? I don’t feel like I could stop her. I want her, and I’ll take any part of her she’s willing to give me. I just have to think about if I’d also be okay not being the only one.
CHAPTER 16
Rae
Istare at myself in the mirror, Asher’s question replaying over and over in mind like it has since the night he asked me the first time.
Who am I?
Who is Rae Colver?
My answer has remained the same as it did that night. I don’t know.
I thought doing things outside my typical comfort zone would help me figure it out, but all it’s done is confuse me even more. I’m looking directly into my eyes in the mirror, my hair is draped around me. The red has darkened as I’ve gotten older. I remember when I was young my mom would call it a strawberry blonde, but I feel like it’s become more strawberry than blonde.
My body became more toned on tour from all the dancing. I’ve always been fit but not skinny, and I’ve felt myself getting stronger with all the activity.
I expected to look different because inside Ifeeldifferent after what has happened with both Asher and Grayson.
God, what’s happened withboth of them.
But I don’t. I look the exact same as I did before. Only now, I know what it’s like when Grayson talks me through it, what his dick looks like, and what Asher looks and feels like with his head buried between my thighs.
I drop my face into my hands and let out a small scream.
My phone has unanswered texts from both of them because I don’t know what to say. I’ve thought about talking to one person who I know would understand, but she’s practically another mom to me and there’s no way I could get through a conversation about this. Chandler is great, and she isn’t shy about choosing to spend her life with three men, living what some would claim is an unusual lifestyle.
I don’t even know if that’s what I would want to do, or if this would even lead there. Asher doesn’t seem like the type to settle down…ever so I don’t even know why I’m entertaining the thought.
Which may be the whole point, especially because I want to figure myself out and maybe the way to do that is tonotlook too much into this. Just do what feels good, go with the flow. Embrace the uncomfortable.
Do what scares me.
And I’m fucking terrified.
But I still want to talk tosomeone.Unfortunately my best friend who I would normally talk to about something like this is now involved.
