She gives me a look like I’m proving some sort of point.
“So, what makes you think I knew aboutanythinghaving to do with our family after I left?”
I clench my jaw, not answering. Mostly because I’m still hearing Rae’s voice in my head and imagining if she was here. She’d be squeezing my leg and encouraging me to listen. And the only reason I’m having this conversation is because of her.
“The last time I saw our grandma was when I was around your age. She showed up on Thanksgiving when Charlie and I first started seeing each other. She spewed her normal religious bullshit to me, but you know what was my final straw? Because it was one thing to have to endure all the abuse she inflicted, it was a whole other to have her tell me thatI asked forthe abuse I got from our dad and her.”
I swallow roughly, my anger now directed at the people we came from and how for just a second I wish they were alive so I could make them pay for what they did to us.
Audrey laughs lightly, but it lacks humor. “Yeah, so I didn’t exactly keep up with any of them. You were born around that time, but she was too busy calling me a whore to tell me that I was a big sister. And I never talked to my parents once I was sent to live with the wicked witch of Denver.”
I cough out a small laugh at that.
“I didn’t know you existed until the social worker called me after that bitch died and told me.”
Part of me is struggling to believe her, but she really has no reason to lie to me. And this is the most she’s ever opened up to me about what she went through.
“Asher, seriously, if I knew about you, I would have doneeverythingpossible to make sure I got you out of there. No oneshould have to go through what we did, and I’m sorry I didn’t know sooner.”
She sounds so sincere; I know there’s no denying that she’s being honest.
I shake my head, wrapping my head around the fact that what I believed for my entire life isn’t true. I made Audrey the enemy when she was a victim to our circumstance as well.
“I’m sorry,” I admit, looking down at my hands.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I’ve been such a dick to you. I figured you wanted nothing to do with me, and I was a burden to you and Charlie that neither of you asked for. That’s partly why I left like I did.”
She shrugs. “You have been a dick to me.”
I laugh lightly at her honesty, but I deserve that.
“I understood it, though. I had my own issues to work out for awhile when I was your age. Trust me, I made it everyone else’s problem too. It’s amazing that Charlie kept me around, I wasn’t always the nicest to him either.”
“Really?” I look up, not believing her.
“Really, but that’s a story for another time. And you probably want most of the details left out,” she jokes.
I nod. “Probably. But we’re good?”
“We’re great. You’re my brother, and I love you no matter what.”
I freeze hearing her say that. We’ve never said that to each other. She must recognize my reaction because she just nods, patting my good shoulder gently.
“I see a lot of myself in you. The L word was a hard one for me too, but you’ll get there, especially with the right girl.”
I smile. “If I think I may have found her?”
“Then you hold onto her, and don’t let her go.”
“Thanks, Audrey. You’re not so bad.”
She clears her throat and replies dryly, “What a glowing endorsement.”
I chuckle. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, you’re not so bad either.”
