Her expression shifted.
“But now… every time I close my eyes, I’m back there. Underwater. Drowning. Hearing that crack in my body.” Her voice trembled. “And I panic. I wake up sweating. Crying sometimes.”
Her throat tightened.
“It’s like… I want to go back so bad, but my body won’t let me. My brain won’t let me.”
Like I don’t belong there anymore.
“Have you told anyone this?” Carla asked.
“No,” she said softly. “Not really. I’ve told Callum parts of it.”
“Callum?”
“He’s… a guy. I don’t know.” She let out a small breath. “We’ve been… spending time together. He’s great. He listens. He makes me laugh. He makes everything easier.”
She paused.
“Too easy, maybe.”
Carla tilted her head slightly. “Do you feel like you’re using him?”
Alejandra’s stomach dropped.
How the fuck did she—
Was it that obvious?
“Sometimes,” she admitted quietly. “I don’t want to. I’m scared he’s just… a distraction I’m clinging to because I don’t know how to face this.”
Her voice softened.
“I feel guilty. I want to be with him… but I also don’t want to hurt him.”
“Do you feel like you’re hurting him now?”
“I don’t think so.” A pause. “But I know I could.”
They sat with that for a moment. The tea had cooled slightly, the steam no longer curling.
Carla’s voice came again, steady and warm.
“Alejandra, fear after trauma isn’t weakness. It’s survival. Your brain is trying to protect you. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, or that you’ve lost your identity.”
Alejandra swallowed hard.
“You’re not just a surfer,” Carla continued. “You’re a human being who has been through something terrifying. And it’s okay to taketime to heal. It’s okay to ask for help. To rely on someone like Callum or your family.”
The pressure behind Alejandra’s eyes built quickly.
“I’m scared that if I stop being the strong one… everything will fall apart.”
Carla leaned forward slightly. “Then let’s figure out a way to carry that strength differently. One that doesn’t crush you.”
That did it.
The tears came—slow, quiet, almost surprising in their softness. They slid down her cheeks before she could stop them.
