I glance at Salvario, laughing. His face doesn’t even twitch. He must not get the joke.
Alori laughs. “I just gained a little weight.”
Kelly nods. “Right. So the rumors about you getting cushions for your twins are fake?”
I laugh, looking at him. He watches like it’s a crime documentary. It was a weak joke—not his fault for not laughing.
I focus back on the TV.
“Totally fake,” Alori says.
Kelly glances at her cue card. “There’s another rumor here. Says you learned Italian for your new movie, but really, it was to impress the man playing your killer.”
Alori laughs, rolling back on the couch. “That’s totally fake. Faker than the last one.”
Kelly shrugs. “I get it. Last month someone spread a rumor that I was kissing Lavin’s ass at a party.”
The screen cuts to an image of Kelly—clearly drunk—literally kissing Lavin’s bare butt.
“It’s horrible when people talk fake shit about you.”
Everyone laughs. I double over, rolling into Salvario, laughing my ass off.
But he doesn’t make a sound. I look up, he’s watching the screen with the same interest I used to give my math teacher’s monthly seminar presentations.
His utter lack of interest kills my buzz. I hit pause.
“Are these jokes not funny enough for you?”
“What’s funny about saying someone’s lying, just with more words?” He drawls.
I hit play. “It’s fine. My pa doesn’t think it’s funny either.”
Before I can focus again, Salvario grabs me and flips me onto his lap—stomach down, ass up. I yelp at the sudden move.
He pulls down my shorts.
“No, Salvario!” I shout. “You just fucked me half an hour ago. I’m sore.” My words end in a loud cry as his palm meets my ass cheek.
Rosie panics. She leaps off the couch and stands in front of him, barking.
“You should’ve thought about that before making the joke.” He caresses the sting on my ass.
I twist around to look at him. “So you do get the jokes! I was just testing you. I swear.”
He laughs, his palm still covering my ass. I roll off his lap and gingerly climb back up. The moment my ass touches the couch, I wince, glaring at him with a pout, while he just keeps laughing.
Rosie edges closer, sniffing me anxiously. I kiss her face to reassure her I’m okay.
“And you’re laughing at nothing funny. Are you a little defective?”
He pulls me closer, hugging me tightly around the shoulders.
“I’m more than a little defective.”
He cups my jaw in his big palm, his fingers curling down to my neck. He kisses me, and I melt into it, forgetting all about the sting on my butt.
When we pull apart, I ask, “How about we watch a movie? We’ll watch your favorite.”
