I roll onto my side, pulling the blanket up under my chin, trying to convince myself that it’s just the events of the last twenty-four hours catching up to all of us. But it isn’t. It’s my betrayal that has turned Cormac into a man I no longer recognize.
I can’t help but wonder how far Cormac will go to punish me.
It wouldn’t take much for him to decide to use Amber as a bargaining tool like Lorcan if he wanted. He has the power and the contacts.
I guess the only reassurance I have is that, deep down, I trust that he would never cross that line.
Lorcan, on the other hand, wouldn’t hesitate to pull the plug on Amber’s treatment, and from the sinking feeling in my stomach, I know he wouldn’t stop there.
After the last conversation we had where I threatened to come clean to the Sullivans, he now suspects that I’m not fully loyal to him, and he knowsexactlyhow to use that against me.
But the terrifying part is that Lorcan doesn’t need to touch me to control me. He just has to remind me what’s at stake. One wrong move, one misstep, and Amber will pay, and he won’t hesitate to destroy everything I’ve fought so hard to protect.
I run a shaky hand over my face, trying to calm myself, but it’s no use. I can’t breathe easy, not while Lorcan is out there thinking I might already be working against him. Every sound beyond my bedroom door sets my nerves on fire.
If Lorcan realizes I’ve revealed anything, it’s all over.
I’m desperate to ask Cormac for help, but how can I after what I’ve done to him?
The sunrise comes early, streaking light across the carpet through the gap in the curtains.
My body aches, and my eyelids are so heavy with exhaustion that even a good night's sleep would be able to take the edge off. But at the sound of approaching footsteps outside my door, I sit upright and suck in a breath as the handle turns, and the door swings open to reveal Cormac.
My pulse spikes.
For a second, I think maybe he’s here for the same thing as last night.
But when his eyes meet mine, there’s none of that feral hunger I used to crave. There’s only that cold, distant look in his eye that tells me this visit is nothing but business.
I rub my eyes. “Cormac?”
The shadows under his eyes are the color of bruises, and his black shirt is wrinkled, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows.
I doubt he even bothered going to bed after he left my room last night.
“We need to talk.”
I fumble to turn on the bedside light, wincing as the room floods with light. “You’re not here for?—”
“Not this time.” His voice is clipped. “I’m here to listen because I need to know every last detail you know that could help us trap Lorcan.”
This gets my attention. “Really?”
“Don’t mistake this for my forgiveness.” He crosses his arms over his chest. “Right now, I’m not sure that’s something I can ever give you.”
And just like that, the spark of hope extinguishes.
“I understand…”
My throat feels too thick to speak, and I can barely hear my own thoughts over the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears. But regardless, I take a deep breath and start from the beginning again.
I tell him about Carly and the debts, and how Freddy got involved. I try my best not to flinch as I say his name, but with it comes a rush of memories that I’ve tried so hard to forget.
I explain how everything backfired, and how Carly and Freddy betrayed me in the worst possible way.
Cormac stays silent as I speak, his expression nothing but a cold mask.
“And then…” I whisper, the words barely audible. “After she died, Lorcan said it was my responsibility to repay her debt.”
