“I want to cover women’s hockey, Zach. That’s a choice. It’s my choice. The PWHL is doing something that matters and I want to be part of it and I don’t need my dad’s permission or anyone telling me that NHL rinkside is the smart move because I didn’t ask what the smart move was.”
“I know.”
“He does this thing where he frames it like he’s looking out for me but really he’s looking out for the version of me that makes sense to him. The one that stays in the NHL orbit.” She stops and she scrapes her fingers through her hair, twisting it up as she talks. “He wants me close. He wants me in his world. And I love his world but it’s HIS world and I want my own.”
I want to touch her so badly my hands ache. I want to put my arms around her and tell her that her choice is the right one, that Jack will come around. But there’s a security camera at the end of the hall and a door open somewhere behind me. The best I can do is stand three feet away and look at her.
“He’ll come around,” I say. “He’s your dad. He wants what’s best for you.”
“He wants what he thinks is best for me. Those aren’t the same thing.” She pulls her bag up on her shoulder. The fight drains out of her, and what’s left looks tired and small—nothing like the person who ran a midnight cookie operation across two floors of my apartment building. “I should go.”
“Mackie—”
“I’ll see you tonight.”
She walks away and I stand in the hallway and watch her go.
Game 5 is at home.We win 4-2. I stop thirty-three shots. The building is loud, but not the way it gets when a series ends—it’s the sound of one more, one more, one more, and I can feel it vibrating through the ice. In the handshake line, Jack’s hand is on the back of my neck the way it is after wins. He says “that’s how we do it, kid.” I smile back, thinking about his daughter driving to my apartment right now. Thinking about the fight I overheard this morning, and the way his face reset in the hallway.
I shower and get dressed and check my phone.
Mackie
you were incredible
33 saves
ONE MORE WIN ZACH
I’m so proud of you I could scream but I’m in the family suite so instead I’m going to sit here and smile and pretend I’m not losing my mind
Me
come over tonight?
Mackie
already on my way
The Cup Finals. The thing I told her about during truth or dare, the thing I said out loud that I’d never said to anyone.
It’s right there.
34
MACKIE
Game 6 in Colorado.Win or go home. Except the going home part is for them, not us, because we’re up three games to two and Zach has been a wall for the entire series. Tonight could be the night we clinch. And I’m sitting in my parents’ living room watching on TV, because I can’t exactly explain why I need to fly to another city to watch the team’s goalie from the stands.
Mom is on the other end of the couch with a glass of wine. The house is quiet in the way it gets when my dad is on the road—his energy is so big that when it’s gone the rooms feel too large, like the furniture was arranged for someone who takes up more space than the rest of us.
The first period is scoreless. Zach makes fourteen saves, and two of them are ridiculous—a glove snag on a one-timer from the slot and a pad save on a two-on-one that makes the commentators lose their minds. I’m sitting on the couch with my phone in my hand. I want to text him so badly my fingers ache. He’s IN NET. He’s playing RIGHT NOW. Even if I sent something, he wouldn’t see it until after, but I type it anyway.
you are unbelievable right now
Second period, we go up 1-0 on a Rodriguez power play goal. Mom raises her wine glass at the TV. I scream into a throw pillow. 2-0 three minutes later on a deflection. The building in Colorado goes dead quiet, and I can see Zach in the wide shot. He’s one period away from the Cup Finals, and all I can do is watch from my couch.
He knows. He has to know. I watch every game. I’ve watched every game since before he knew I existed—watching him because something about the way he moved in the crease made me pay attention. And then I was in love with him, and watching became something else entirely.
