Me
then at least we won’t have to worry about telling my dad anymore
I put my phone down and rest my forehead on the steering wheel, my heart is hammering and I know this isn’t a solution. But I need him tonight. One more night before he gets on that plane. One more night before everything gets harder.
I set my alarm for nine-fifteen and start driving home, already thinking about what I’m going to wear.
31
ZACH
I getto the facility at 9:45 because I need fifteen minutes alone in the building to convince myself this is actually happening and also to check every door, hallway, and blind corner between the parking lot and the video room like the paranoid mess that I am.
The lot is empty except for two cars I don’t recognize, which is probably just the cleaning crew. I scan the windows on the second floor. Dark. The coaches’ offices are dark. The weight room lights are off. The only light I can see is the faint glow from the main hallway, which stays on all night, and the security desk near the front entrance.
I get out of the car. Lock it. Check that I locked it. Check again. Walk toward the side entrance, which is the one Mackie told me to use because it’s keycard-only and doesn’t pass the security desk. I badge in and the door clicks open and I’m inside the practice facility of the professional hockey team that employs me at almost ten o’clock at night for the purpose of meeting my secret girlfriend in the video room where our coaching staff reviewsgame film and I am going to hire a therapist or something because this is not the behavior of a well-adjusted person.
The hallway is empty. My sneakers squeak on the floor and every squeak makes me flinch. I start walking too fast and then I’m walking too slow and then I’m walking at a pace that I think looks normal but probably looks like a man who’s trying very hard to look normal which is worse than just walking fast.
The video room is just past the weight room. The big one with three rows of chairs facing a screen that takes up the entire wall, the room where we break down game tape as a team. Barrett dims the lights and runs film and we sit in these chairs and study ourselves failing in high definition. I’ve spent hundreds of hours in this room.
Mackie
parking now. 2 min
is the coast clear captain paranoia
Me
don’t call me that
Mackie
is the coast clear my darling anxious love
Me
meet me in the video room. End of the hall past the weight room
Mackie
I know where the video room is Zach I’ve been coming to this building since I was seven
Me
please dont remind me how young you are
Mackie
you are so CUTE when you’re committing crimes
I hearher before I see her. Footsteps in the hallway, quick and light, and then the door handle turns and she slips in and I lock it behind her. She’s standing in the dark video room breathing hard and grinning with her hair down and my brain just empties.
“You came,” she says.
“You didn’t really give me a choice.”
“I gave you every choice. You chose this one.” Her fingers curl into my hoodie. “I missed you.”
