He holds up a hand. “I don’t need the details. But Rodriguez, son, aftercare is a real thing.”
“I am?—”
“Here.” He pulls a handful of honey packets from his pocket and a hands them to me with carton of coconut water.
I stare at the honey packets in my hand. “Coach, are you giving me sex advice?”
“I’m giving you… performance optimization strategies.” His face is completely serious but his mouth is twitching. “Hydration is key. Electrolytes.”
From under the covers, Juliette makes a sound like she’s dying.
“Also,” Barrett continues, “the walls here are remarkably thin. Half the team is awake. Malone’s been live-texting.”
“Dex is live-texting our?—”
“Not the specifics. Just... updates.” He clears his throat. “You might want to check the group chat.”
“Coach, I’m so sorry?—”
“Don’t be sorry. Be quieter. Or at least more discreet. Also, Rodriguez?”
“Yes, Coach?”
He leans in slightly, lowers his voice. “Next time you want to try something more... advanced, there’s a shop in Vancouver. Excellent selection. Tell them Barrett sent you, they’ll give you the team discount.”
I’m completely frozen, my jaw halfway to the floor. My coach is telling me about sex shops with team discounts.
“The team... discount?”
“Twenty percent off.” He straightens up, back to business. “Now. You’ve got about six hours before the bus leaves for the airport. I suggest you both get some actual sleep.”
He turns to leave, then pauses.
“Oh, and Rodriguez? Congratulations. On the five goals.” He glances back with the tiniest smirk. “All of them.”
The door clicks shut.
I stand there holding honey packets and water, staring at the closed door.
From the bed, Juliette’s voice emerges from under the covers. “Did your coach just?—”
“Give me sex tips and recommend a sex shop with a team discount? Yes.”
“I’m never leaving this room. Actually, I’m never leaving this BED.”
“He brought you honey packets.”
She pulls the covers down just enough to peek out. “Why does Coach Barrett know about honey packets for sex?”
“I don’t want to think about it.”
“Oh my god, Romeo, what if Coach Barrett is like... a freak?”
“Stop.”
“What if he has a whole secret life? What if that’s why he never remarried?”
“JuJu, please?—”
