She looks up, and for the first time since September, she doesn’t immediately look annoyed to see me. Just... tired. Really tired. There are shadows under her eyes that weren’t there before.
“Hi.”
“You okay?”
“I’m fine.”
There’s something in the way she says it that makes me think she’s not actually fine. The word comes out flat, automatic, like she’s been saying it a lot lately and stopped meaning it. But I don’t know her well enough to push.
“Listen Juliette, I know I’ve been... a lot. For months. And I meant what I said the other day—I’m not trying to push. But I’m going to ask one more time because apparently I might be the world’s dumbest loser.” I lean against my car, taking some weight off my knee. “Would you want to grab coffee sometime? Just coffee. No pressure. Just—I don’t know. I think you’re interesting and I’d like to get to know you.”
I’m preparing myself for another rejection. Already planning what I’ll say to Almardon about how I’m finally giving up for real this time.
“Sure. When?”
I almost don’t process it. The words don’t make sense. My mouth opens but nothing comes out. I actually look behind me like maybe she’s talking to someone else, because there’s no way she just said yes to me. “When what?”
“When do you want to get coffee? Isn’t that literally what you just asked me.”
My brain completely blanks. She’s looking at me, actually looking at me, and I can’t quite read her expression. Not enthusiasm exactly. More like resignation. Or maybe exhaustion. But she said yes.
“Uh—whenever. Tomorrow? This weekend? Literally whenever works for you.”
“I’ll be downtown tomorrow morning at the training rink. Then I have to be back here by four for lessons.” She hesitates, her keys jangling slightly in her hand. “We could get coffee on the way.”
I should probably question why she’s suddenly saying yes after shutting me for months. And wonder what changed between earlier and now. But I’m not that smart.
“Yeah. Okay. That would be great.”
“Meet me there? At 2?”
“I’ll be there.”
She nods and gets in her car, the door closing with a solid thunk. I stand there in the cold parking lot, watching her car disappear around the corner, trying to figure out what might have made herchange her mind.
Whatever it is, I’m not going to waste it.
Tomorrow I’ll be getting coffee with Juliette Chastain.
And maybe, finally, I can figure out why I can’t get her out of my head.
5
JULIETTE
I almost chicken out.
It’s crazy how easily I could just drive away right now. It’s 1:58 p.m., I’m parked in front of the downtown rink, engine running, heater blowing onto my face, and I’m actually thinking about leaving. I could tell him something came up. I have to leave early, or I changed my mind. That would be the smartest thing to do.
I don’t know why I said yes yesterday. He’s asked me out three times now—four if you count the video incident back in September—and I’ve shut him down every single time. I have a system for this. I don’t date. I focus on skating. I keep my life simple and controlled and exactly how I need it to be.
Except my life isn’t simple right now. It’s a complete disaster.
It’s been almost two months since Garrett ended our relationship via FaceTime. On a Sunday night. While I was meal-preparing.
Two months and I still feel like I’m walking around with a hole where something should be. Except it’s not heartbreak, exactly. It’s more like numbness than anything else. I should be devastated. I should be crying and listening to sad music and doing all the things you’re supposed to do after a three-year relationship ends.
Instead I just feel empty. And maybe a little bit relieved, then I feel guilty for feeling relieved.
