I don’t respond. Just silence my phone and close my eyes and try to sleep.
But all I can see is that message from Sienna.
Had such a good time at coffee yesterday.
Let me know when you’re free again.
And the heart emoji that feels like a knife between my ribs.
30
RODRIGUEZ
Wednesday, March 19th
I wakeup alone and the wrongness of it hits me before I’m fully conscious.
The bed is cold on Juliette’s side. Empty. Like she was never here at all. I reach for my phone on the nightstand, squinting at the screen. Not even 4 AM.
She’s at her apartment. She said she was tired from book club. That she needed sleep.
But she’s never done that before. Never chosen her place over mine. Not since Toronto. Not once.
I text her even though I know she’s asleep.
Miss you. Come back tomorrow?
I stare at the screen waiting for the three dots that don’t come.
She’s asleep. It’s fine. Everything’s fine.
Except it’s not fine because something felt off last night. The way she texted. Short and distant. The way she didn’t really answer whenI asked if she was okay, just said she was tired instead of telling me what was actually wrong.
I should have pushed. Should have asked more questions. Should have driven to her place and made her talk to me. Should have told her about Sienna the moment it happened instead of convincing myself it was no big deal.
My phone buzzes and for a second hope flares in my chest. But it’s not her.
Can’t stop thinking about seeing you yesterday. We should do it again soon.
Sienna.
Fuck.
I blocked her number after our coffee meeting. Blocked her on Instagram. Deleted everything.
She must have gotten a new number.
Sienna, stop. I told you, I’m with someone. We’re done.
But we’re not done. We’ll never be done. You felt it too yesterday at coffee. That connection we have.
There’s no connection. There never was. Please stop contacting me.
You’re making a mistake. She’s not right for you. I’M right for you.
I don’t respond. Just block the number and put my phone face-down on the nightstand, pressing it against the wood like that’ll make this stop.
But I can’t sleep. I lie there thinking about Juliette at her apartment alone, about her texts from last night, about Sienna showing up out of nowhere and ruining everything I’ve been building with the only woman who’s ever really mattered.
