“Yeah, I should have been in the shower a few minutes ago.” Donovan’s voice is soft and sweet, and I’m tempted to lie back down and drag him beneath the sheets with me.
“Then why aren’t you?”
He nips at the tender flesh of my stomach one more time before sitting up. “Thought you needed me here.”
I did.
I can’t begin to tell him how much I did. Navigating a world where I’m trying to let myself feel the emotions swirling through my chest is so… hard.
I know I wouldn’t be able to do it alone.
“I did, thank you. Guess you can’t get out of whatever you have to do, can you?” The question is wistful, and his lips pinch together.
“If I could, I would.”
I know he’s telling the truth… which is the only reason I swallow down the soft plea for him to figure it out anyway. I’ve never faced the kid of someone I killed before.
I have no idea if he’ll be happy knowing his dad is dead… but…
“Tell Iggy I said hey, though, yeah?” And before I can say anything else, Donovan sits up on the bed and presses a soft kiss to my forehead, drifting his lips down to the tip of my nose before covering my mouth in a gentle press that’s more warmth than heat. “You’re going to do great, Shiloh.”
I’m not sure how he knows that I’m worried about fucking this all up, but I nod once before gently pushing on his shoulder.
“Go take a shower and I’ll make coffee before we both leave.”
The sweet smile that stretches across his face feels like sunshine on my skin. The fact that he’s seemingly still so enamored with the simplest of domestic things is fascinating… and the way he kisses me one more time before hopping out of the bed gives me the push I need to stand up and follow him.
I can do this, because Donovan thinks I can.
Iggy looks up at me with his big, bright eyes, and I feel something in my chest break open as he reaches his tiny hand out and takes mine.
“Sounds like you’re going to be able to get out of here soon, huh?” I’m surprised at the slight wobble in my voice, but he just smiles.
“I get to go stay with my aunt K.” He sounds so happy about it. I know his mom died when he was little, and his aunt comes from her side.
“You get to move somewhere warmer, huh?” I reach over and gently ruffle his hair, my fingers careful where they touch him. I still feel like I could break him open if I’m not careful…
“Yeah.” At that, his little cupid-bow smile turns into a pout. “I asked her to stay here.”
“Why?” The only reasonI’mstill here is because of Donovan, or I would definitely have moved somewhere warmer by now.
“I like your class.” He scrunches up his nose, and I can tell that’s not all.
“Iggy?”
“I’m afraid Daddy will come back. He’ll get mad if I leave… he might… he might…” His big eyes go shiny with tears, and I shake my head.
“Listen to me, that’s not going to happen.”
Iggy lets out a little hiccup, shaking his head. “You don’t know that. He always came back before. I never got to leave with Auntie K. I…”
The heart monitor he’s connected to is going wild, and I know if I don’t do something to calm him down the nurses are probably going to come in to kick me out soon, so I lean forward, lowering my voice.
“I promise, he’s not coming back.”
Through his tears, he fixes his little gaze on me. “How do you know?”
Because I killed him. Because he’s rotting somewhere in the water as food for the fish?
