The three sisters look at me as the first Oakenshade wedding winds down. By the fire, the bride herself has fallen asleep on her new husband's shoulder — still in her armor of leather and silk — and Grammy's stitch is in the hem of it, invisible, blessing her union. Apparently, I make all their dresses now. Even Mima’s.
“I promise,” I say.
9
TORGAN
Imake it as far as the east archway before I stop.
I don't leave. Leaving would mean I'm done with something, and I'm not.
Not yet.
I stand beyond the torchlight and watch Lissy find a bench at the edge of the dance floor. She sits alone, smoothing her skirts as if that gives her hands something useful to do.
Now we're dancing, she told me.
For one song, I forgot every rule I have.
That was all it took.
Across the hall, Mima charges toward her. My little cousin climbs Lissy's skirts and settles directly into her lap. Lissy goes still for a moment, then tucks the girl against her shoulder as if she has done it a hundred times.
Mima falls asleep almost immediately.
My chest goes tight.
Why does that hurt?
I know the answer, so I push at an older hurt instead.
Ma in the snow outside the east wall. An arrow through her side. Blood spreading across the white ground while I stood there, nineteen years old and frozen for two full breaths.
Two breaths.
She lived, but she was never as strong afterward. I have spent every year since making sure I never hesitate over my family again.
I watch the roads. I read the reports. I guard every door whether anyone asks me to or not. I call it duty because it sounds better than fear.
Every person I love is another person I can fail.
On the bench, Lissy looks down at the sleeping child. I want to cross the hall and sit beside her. I want to ask if she is all right. I want to hear her explain something I never thought to notice before.
I want too much.
So I stay in the archway.
"There you are."
Pa comes through the corridor with enough mead in him to color his cheeks. He leans against the other side of the arch.
Pa never drifts anywhere. Everything he does was decided before anyone else noticed it needed doing.
"Good wedding," he says.
"Good wedding."
His gaze moves across the hall. "The dressmaker is charming. Your grandfather is half in love with her. Mima has claimed her."
