He made a disgusted noise in his throat. It sounded almost like a growl.
“You are upset though,” she said.
He’d made her come. He’d washed her coat and fixed her tea. She’d only meant to thank him and she was screwing it up.
“I’m not upset,” he said.
He clearly was. His face had gone red and there was a savage glint to his eyes.
“Is it because you think I’m beneath you?” she asked, trying not to let it sting. “You regret touching me because I’m not one of your ladies from the capital who wears dresses and reads lots of books. If you’re worried it will give me ideas about keeping you, it won’t. You made it clear you weren’t interested in that.”
“I don’t think you’re beneath me,” he said. “I’ve never thought that. Where would you even get that idea?”
Everyone else thought she was beneath them. She knew that. All the people in Jarn. All of the people in Sulen. Hell, most of the people in Toam thought she was beneath them.
She nodded, accepting his answer, even though she didn’t entirely believe it.
Hehadwanted her last night. She’d felt his cock. She’d seen his face. She’d been willing. If it wasn’t that he thought so poorlyof her, then why’d he say no? She took another sip of her tea while she thought about it. She hated this. She never should have gotten close to the witch hunter no matter how beautiful he was.
But she had to know…
“Why did you stop?”
He looked at her for a long moment, like he was weighing his words. Finally, he said, “You weren’t yourself last night. It would have been taking advantage of you. You didn’t even know what you were offering.”
“I knew what I was offering.”
“You hate me.”
She shrugged. “It doesn’t seem to stop me from wanting you.”
Besides she wasn’t even sure that she hated him anymore. It seemed to her that she hated some other witch hunter who went around branding innocent women and generally being an arrogant, disagreeable prick. She didn’t think that this Casrian would like that man very much either. Whatever it was she felt toward him was more complicated than simple hate.
She did want him. It was stupid to keep pretending that she didn’t.
She’d never told a man that she wanted him before. It might have been the scariest thing she’d ever done and that was saying something. Scarier than the woods. Scarier than the witch.
Scarier still was waiting for his response.
His blue eyes fixed on her.
As the moment stretched, she felt a weight settle in her stomach, mixing with the weak tea and making her feel queasy. He opened his mouth. Started to say something. Stopped. Finally, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I went too far. You’re under my command as a hired guide. It was inappropriate to touch you. There are rules…”
She scoffed. “Rules.”
“Rules governing conduct. I violated at least three of them last night.”
Was he really worried about rules right now? She didn’t think so.
But he did regret what happened.
Even if he wanted her—even if he maybe liked her—he wasn’t going to let himself have her. She’d seen the look on his face before, on men in Sulen—decent men—who were interested until they realized who she was and what it would cost them to have her.
“Look,” he said gently. “The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”
That hit her right in the chest, stealing her breath for a heartbeat or two.
She was fairly certain that his rejection hurt more than his cock would have.
