It took him twenty minutes to get back to the mall, and she was already there, parked as if she was going inside, standing in front of her Audi.
His wolf wasn’t ready to accept it, which meant he couldn’t push him all the way down. The wolf needed to hear the words coming out of her mouth.
Knife was mostly numb. He’d been worried about exactly this — about her having to face the fact they can never be a traditional couple.
She’d known it from the beginning, but knowing it and experiencing it were two completely different things.
He pulled up and killed the engine, took his helmet off, but stayed on the bike. Distance was his friend right now.
Also, being able to make a fast getaway.
She was going to end it, and he’d let her. For both of them.
She was about to slice his heart open, and he was going to let her, because she needed the closure and his wolf needed to hear the words coming out of her mouth.
She didn’t say anything at first. Just stood under the parking lot lights, arms wrapped around herself like she was holding her own pieces together. When she finally spoke, her voice was raw.
“This isn’t working.”
She said it simply, but he saw the storm in her eyes.
“Every goodbye breaks something inside me,” she continued, “and today was…”
She took a steadying breath. “I saw you with your brothers, and I get it. They’re your found family.” Another breath. “And I’m out of bounds. I thought it would be okay, but it isn’t, and I can’t pretend it is.”
He couldn’t argue with anything she’d said. She was right, but that didn’t make this any easier.
He’d never told her how he truly felt about her, and it seemed he needed to, at least once.
“I love you,” he said. “And I know you’re right. I know being in love isn’t always enough. If you ever need anything, I’m here. A text or a call, and I’ll come.”
He watched her take it in, saw the extra emotions hit, but she didn’t say it back.
She held his gaze for a dozen heartbeats and then turned and walked into P.F. Chang’s without looking back.
He started to hang around to see if she had dinner plans with someone else, or if she was eating alone, but his wolf wanted to leave. To get far from her.
And the wolf was right. A clean break meant driving away.
So he put his helmet on, threaded through traffic on the interstate and over the ridge cut, and then blasted down side roads to the clubhouse, where he ordered Chiquita to blow him, and he drank a damned PBR tallboy while he enjoyed her mouth.
He wasn’t sure he could come, so he told her to go slow. If he didn’t tell her to stop, she’d stay on her knees for hours,giving him the slow, leisurely blowjob he’d demanded. Her mouth would keep him hard, but he’d probably have to hurt her before he’d get off, and the way he fucking felt, that might not even be enough. It would have to be enough eventually, but nothing about tonight could possibly be right.
He’d been prepared to leave his brothers, but only if they could last three months. Clearly, they couldn’t, and that’d been her motherfucking choice.
He got to keep his brothers, so why was he so goddamned gutted?
- - -?- - -
The motherfucker had told her he fucking loved her.
And he hadn’t argued that they could make it work. He’d totally taken it in stride, like she meantnothing.
While telling her he fucking loved her.
She ordered the Kung Pao Chicken and asked for it to be extra spicy because shewantedto fucking hurt. While she was at it, she ordered a dynamite roll, flaming red wontons, and chili-garlic green beans.
And the house-made ginger beer.
