“Aye. Always,” I vow.
Audrey takes a long breath in through her nose before slowly blowing it out through her mouth. “In that case, I want to ask you a question.”
“Anything,” I answer quickly, my heart thumping so hard I know she must feel it underneath her touch.
Finally, Audrey looks up, her eyes vulnerable and her voice smaller than I’ve ever heard it. “Why have you never bitten me?”
The question cuts through me like a knife slicing into my chest and stabbing me directly in the heart.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
“Why? Isn’t it natural for you to want to feed from me? I know that a vampire bite has venom and can act as an aphrodisiac and can result in fantastic orgasms. And obviously you’ve fed from other partners before because blood bags haven’t been around for that long. Why not me?” The last three words are barely louder than a breath as they staccato out of her.
The pain in Audrey’s eyes sears through me stronger than any sunburn I’ve ever felt, incinerating the last-remaining walls I’ve built around myself, only to find her there already, right in the center of my heart.
It’s time I strip away my pride and my defenses and truly lay my soul bare for this amazing woman. Audrey deserves to know the full truth, how much she’s come to mean to me, how much I care for her, and how much I fear losing you.
“Because you’re leaving,” I rasp, my throat thick with emotion. “You told me not to get addicted to you. Audrey, you told me not to fall in love with you. Biting you would only make every single emotion I feel for you so much stronger than it already is. And when you leave me after we’ve shared blood, I don’t think I’d be able to survive.”
“What if I don’t want to leave?”
It’s as if the entire world pauses, my heart, my lungs, even fate holding its breath.
“What do you mean?” I ask, too scared to move, too scared to hope.
Audrey glances up. “I talked to Josie last week. Everyone has been apprehended. It’s safe to go back to Cape Easton.”
“You haven’t left yet,” I state more than ask.
Swallowing hard, Audrey nods slowly. “I don’t want to go back. I want to stay in Starry Hill. With you.”
I’m already shaking my head. “Audrey. My darling Audrey, I could never ask that of you.”
Small hands settle on my jaw and Audrey directs my gaze toward her earnest eyes, letting me see every emotion written there. “Until now, everything in your entire existence has been temporary. Arran, going forward, I want to be the one permanent thing in your life. The one you can depend on. Someone to love and care for you and this community the way you love and care for them. I want you to be my laird, and I’ll be your lady.”
“Audrey,” I repeat with utter disbelief, not fighting the tears running freely down my cheeks.
With steely determined eyes, Audrey lifts her chin. “I want you to bite me, Arran. Turn me. Let’s spend eternity together.”
For a moment, I can see it—our whole future together, right here in this castle. It’s filled with light and laughter, with all kinds of creatures coming and going, community events, and dogs, and… The vision fades as I think of the pain Audrey would go through to one day say goodbye to Tilly, her friends, their children, and all the others she loves as mortal lifetimes end around her. I won’t subject her to the kind of hurt I’ve had to live through. Especially not if she’s doing it forme.
Gently, I lift Audrey off my lap and resume the pacing I was doing earlier. I only manage two steps before I stop and whirl around again. “If I turned you into a monster like me, you’dresent me, Audrey. Eternity? Together? How could you offer me that kind of hope?”
Audrey jumps up from her seat and marches up to me. She pokes me hard in the chest to punctuate her words. “Because I love you, Arran. That’s why. I love Starry Hill. The community you’ve built, the creatures, the vision and dream of the island. I want to be a part of it. I want to help you, be by your side as we serve our clan.”
Grabbing her shoulders, I try to make her see sense. “I don’t deserve that kind of love. I can’t give you the life, the future you deserve. I can’t give you a family, or children. I can’t protect you from the hurt of a thousand goodbyes. I can’t limit you to this island, tome.”
“Don’t be daft,” Audrey huffs, her eyes burning with angry tears. “I don’t want children of my own. I had my tubes tied more than a decade ago. Why do you think I let you cum inside of me? And adventures? Who says we can’t have them? I hate to break it to you, but there are other vampires out there living their best lives and traveling internationally, if they so wish. The world has changed, Arran. Yes, there’s Starry Hill, and this community is special and needs to be treasured for the safe haven it is for so many creatures. However, if you’d like to get on a boat or a plane, visit friends who used to live here, or see the world, nothing’s stopping you. Nothing’s stoppingus. We can have the future we want. Together,” Audrey finishes, her voice wobbling and chest heaving.
“I—” Stepping back, I swipe at my tears with the back of my hand, and let her words sink in.
I didn’t realize the world had changed so much, that these options exist now. But still, would it be fair to condemn Audrey to eternity? To a life dependent on blood, a life fearing the sun?
And most importantly, would it be fair to limit her to a life with me?
“Arran,” Audrey whispers. “Do you love me?”
I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. “That’s not important. What is important is your life, your mortal life with your friends and family.”
