“You’re a great laird,” Audrey says.
“Was,” I correct.
“You still are,” Audrey counters with raised brows. She leans back as she waits for me to fully understand what she means, imploring me with her eyes to look at myself the way she looks at me.
But how can I be a great laird when many creatures in this town don’t even know what I look like? How can I be their leader, their caretaker, if there are so many residents that I haven’t had a proper conversation with, whose histories I don’t fully know?
Aye, I have creatures contacting me from across the world to let me know of others in trouble, and I always find a way to get them to Starry Hill, to offer them refuge should they need it. But after that, while I stay stuck in my dark castle, I’m not very involved in their lives.
All day I’ve been contemplating how to step back into the light, and I think Audrey has helped me realize my answer.
Finally, I admit, “I’d like to be more involved with the community again.”
Audrey graces me with a brilliant smile. “Starry Hill will be lucky to have you take a more active role again.” She gives me a quick kiss, then asks in a more serious tone, “Why did you stop being involved?”
I stare at the amber and gold flames, watching their rhythmic dance as the logs pop and hiss, then take a fortifying breath. “I got tired of saying goodbye.” Faces flash behind my eyes, memories of the first few decades of creatures who came and went, the friendships formed and lost, and the feeling of always returning to my home. Alone.
Audrey waits patiently for me to continue, her soft caresses on my nape a comforting touch while I search for the right words.
“I have always been the only constant in Starry Hill,” I say, still keeping my eyes on the mesmerizing flames. “Creatures will always leave, while I will always remain. It is the hand fate has dealt me and I have accepted it. Yes, it’s an honor to serve the community, but I guess at some point, it became too difficult to be directly involved all the time. It was easier to put other creatures and better systems in place and gradually remove myself from their lives. In turn, it became easier to protect my own heart.”
Audrey’s hand on my nape pauses and she whispers, “It must’ve been so lonely.”
“It was.” Finally, I turn my face toward hers. “I’m ready to not be lonely anymore.”
A short breath puffs out of Audrey and her glassy eyes crinkle with a soft smile. “Me too.”
“When do you go back?” I ask in an equally hushed voice, unsure if I even want to know the answer.
Audrey glides a finger across my cheek, catching the stray tear I didn’t even know had escaped. “I don’t know. But I’m not in a hurry. Not anymore.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
I put out the fire and Audrey checks that Anita is comfortable in her bed in the parlor before we go about closing all the doors and windows downstairs.
Wordlessly, Audrey and I climb up the big staircase hand and hand, turning left at the top of the stairs, and back to our bed.
Chapter 18
Audrey
Over the next month or so, Arran and I settle into a very domestic rhythm. We get comfortable being in each other’s space, learn each other’s routines and habits, and sleep together every night.
When I’m not at the castle with Arran, I take Anita with me into town where we meet a different creature every day and listen to their Arran stories. Sometimes we head to The Flowering Teapot for a meal, other days to The Singing Seahorse, but my favorite visits are when I’m invited into someone’s home.
I’m welcomed by every single resident, treated like I’ve been part of this community my whole life, and it heals something in me that I didn’t know was broken.
Through tiny little moments and thoughtful little gestures, I fall in love with Starry Hill and the creatures who call it home. And, with each day that passes, I’m finding it harder to remember why I wanted to return to the city.
I have days where I think about what it would be like to be one of them, to even become a vampire myself, and remain part of this community where they love and serve each other so freely.
Where I once thought this slower life was boring, I’m finding it more fulfilling than whatever I was keeping myself occupied with in Cape Easton.
At work, I could walk out and they’d find someone to replace me within a week.
In Starry Hill, I’m carving a space out for myself, finding a way to make a difference, to add value to the community, and that is more rewarding than anything else I’ve experienced in my life.
