“Yes.”
Her voice went sleepy around the edges. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Foolish child. I was the reason she was there. Taking her had been a desperate bid for something, and a choice I couldn’t undo. Yet?—
“I know,” I murmured, startling myself.
I sat down, needing to rest. She took it as an invitation to cuddle into my arms, curling up into a ball and closing her eyes. She drifted off in my arms, trusting me with every fragile breath.
And for the first time in decades, I realized I wantedsomething I was not allowed to want.
I wanted to keep her warm, and safe. I wanted to keepher.
No matter who came for her.
No matter what gods I’d have to defy.
Chapter Nineteen
WREN
Benedict hovered behind me like a stalking shadow: quiet, tense, and torn between wanting to fix everything and not knowing where to start. We stood poised on the edge of the quiet volcano, Nerissa and Nuva in deep discussion while Benedict, Kaida and I watched. Kieran practically vibrated with the need to do something, but you couldn’t beat wards into submission. Magick wasn’t his specialty.
I must have slept for a long time to have both of them hovering so, but I felt refreshed and ready to take on the world.
If I could swat the annoying fly buzzing around my head.
“Benedict,” I said through gritted teeth, “give me space.”
“You are uncomfortable,” he argued while he stood ramrod straight, arms half-spread like he expected danger to burst out of the walls at any moment. He checked mypulse. He sniffed me, and for good measure, checked my pulse again.
I shifted my weight side to side, trying to find relief.
“Benedict, I am going to pop any day. Of course I’m uncomfortable.” I tried to hide the amusement in my voice. “I just slept an entire day. I need to move now. If anyone needs to rest, it’syou,” I insisted.
“I can’t rest,” he snapped softly. “Not with Ronan still north. Not with a child missing. Not with the wards thinning. Not with you—” His voice cracked.
I reached out and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back like he was drowning. Kieran sent him a sympathetic glance and Kaida sent me a small smile, encouraging me.
“It is more than worrying about me,” I said softly, so no one else heard. “You have been upset since Kaida and Nasi came.”
Benedict shook his head, one hand on my back. “It is surreal. I try to forget all about the destruction of Lyoness, and the war. I have tried to put it all behind me, but Nasiknows. He may be the only living witness of the destruction. It weighs on me.”
His expression twisted.
I turned around to nuzzle my nose into his chest. “You cannot be ashamed of the past.”
“I was a pig-headed brute who got people killed and caused more suffering.”
I sighed. “You cannot discount who you once were. You needed him to become the king and mate you are now.”
He went still, tightening around me.
“Otherwise, I would still be a cowering mess of a girl,” I reminded him. “I needed my past self. Without her, I would not have become a queen.”
His teeth grazed my neck, fingers ghosting along my stomach. “What a beautiful, wise mate I have.”
I smirked. “And don’t you forget it.”
