Since Crockett hadn’t planned for this, he had no strategy. Winging things wasn’t his style, but based on the worry in her eyes, he didn’t want to drag this out. After pulling on the pajama bottoms, he clasped her hand. “Let’s sit by the fire.” Though he had a fireplace in his bedroom, he didn’t want to tell her in his bed. Beds were for lovemaking and for sleep. Not for drudging up thepast.
After pouring himself a scotch and refilling her wine glass, he sat on the floor by the hearth. She sat on the edge of the ergonomic leather chair and set the wine glass on the side table. Leaning forward, she clasped her legs to her chest. He hoped his words would eliminate her scowl and the anxiety in hereyes.
“I know you loved me once,” he said, keeping his voice low andsteady.
She bolted upright. “Please, nottonight.”
“What you don’t know is that I loved you, too. So much. And that’s why I had to let yougo.”
In a flash, she flew out of the chair. “Crockett—”
He held up his hand. “Let me saythis.”
Her deep inhale was followed by a slow, audible hiss. “Alright.”
“I met you Thanksgiving weekend freshman year. The only thing you said all weekend was that in four years you were going to journalism school at USC. Do you rememberthat?”
A tiny smile lifted the corners of her mouth and she sank back into the chair. “I remember a lot about you from thatweekend.”
“Good, then you might recall that the day you told me you loved me, you also told me you were withdrawing from USC. More than anything, I wanted to tell you how deeply I’d fallen in love with you. But Icouldn’t.”
“You lovedme?”
“Yes, very much, which is why I couldn’t be the reason you didn’t follow yourdream.”
Her eyes softened, but she stayed quiet. He studied her face, the cute way she’d haphazardly tied her hair in a ponytail and how it hung lopsided, and then he caught a glimpse of hope springing from her deep, soulful eyes.Don’t holdback.
“One weekend during sophomore year, I’d come home with Colton. You were still wearing dark clothing and Goth makeup and you rarely spoke. Something I said made you giggle. Your belly laugh lit up your face and the room. It touched me,too.”
“I remember your surprised expression made me laughharder.”
He tipped the lowball glass into his mouth and swallowed down some scotch. “The day of our graduation party, I checked with your mom to confirm the gorgeous woman in the flowery dress was you. The transformation was astounding. Eleven years later, you’re breathtaking. But it’s your inner beauty I love most. That summer was bittersweet for us both. I fell in love with someone I knew would be leaving. The end wasinevitable.”
She slid off the chair and scooted close, but faced the fire. “Can I say somethingnow?”
“Goahead.”
“I had a crush on you from the moment I met you. After four years of hiding behind my Goth, I decided to take a chance. On you.” She tilted her face and peeked through her lush lashes. “I didn’t expect to fall sohard.”
“Ending something that good killed me, but I didn’t see how a long-distance relationship would benefit either one of us. Every time you came home during college, Kimberly made sure I knew you were in town. But you wouldn’t seeme.”
“I couldn’t. It hurt toomuch.”
“When I realized it was you at Incognito, I went after you. Sophia’s absence haunts me every day, but life becomes bearable when you’re by my side.” He tossed back another sip. “I don’t give a damn about what those men are doing at Incognito, but it’s important to you, so I’ve made it a priority. That woman—Sage—I haven’t thought twice about her, but you care, so I’ll do whatever I can to help you shake the nightmares. You needed a safe place to live, so I moved you in with me. But goddammit, Alex, I need more. A lotmore.”
“Crockett.” She murmured his name like aprayer.
“I need to tell you what I couldn’t say all those years ago.” He clasped her hands, stroked her skin with his thumbs. “Eleven years ago, I wasn’t in a position to make you mine, but I’ll do whatever it takes now. I see the way you look at me, the way you find excuses to touch me, and how connected we are, even at the club. I adore you, Alexandra, but if you don’t feel the same way, now would be the time to put it outthere.”
* * *
Alexandra was convincedshe’dmisheard him. Was now the time to admit her true feelings? Tell him she’d never stopped loving him. Admit she’d dreamt of a life with him. Though the room was toasty warm, a shiver ran through her. She wasn’t ready to talk, but she might be able to show him. “I used to be good at making your pain go away. Where does ithurt?”
“Where doesn’t ithurt?”
She kissed his cheek. “Here?”
“Thathelped.”
