“What can I do?” Ashton asked Elena.
“I appreciate your being here and being a pallbearer. You’re welcome to speak at the service. Enrique would have liked that.”
“Whatever you need.”
“Tomorrow, we’re coming back here after the…” Her voice cracked and she shuddered in a deep breath. “Join us.”
“Absolutely,” Ashton replied.
Julia entered the room with more visitors.
Elena sighed. “My aunt and uncle drove up from North Carolina.” She wrapped trembling fingers around Carly’s shoulder. “Thank you both for coming. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As Carly stroked Ashton’s back, he leaned into her. Desperate to console him, she hugged him. He tightened his grip and choked back a sob. Her heart broke.
“This is too much,” he said.
“Come on.” She clasped his hand and headed toward the front door.
They found Julia in the living room, greeting the constant stream of guests paying their respects. While waiting, Ashton massaged the back of his thigh.
He’s hurting and I’ve got to help him.
“Thank you both for coming,” Julia said. “The service is at Our Lady of Grace, not far from here. Do you need directions?”
“We’ll find it,” Carly said. “What can we do to help? Do you need us to pick up floral arrangements? Does someone need a ride to the church?”
“Everything’s taken care of. The service starts at ten.” The front doorbell rang and more guests entered the home. “I should say hello.”
When Julia stepped away, Ashton said, “I’ve gotta get out of here.”
A steady rain fell as they walked down the sidewalk. By the time they’d gotten to the car, large droplets pelted them. They both jumped in and she started the engine.
“I failed him.” Ashton’s voice was so low, Carly wasn’t sure she’d heard him correctly. “I need to punch a wall, go for a run.” He threw open the door and pushed out, slammed the car door shut and powered down the street.
Carly ran after him. “Ashton, stop.”
He continued walking. “I can’t do this. Not again.”
Rain pelted her face and she two-stepped it. “Stop.” She grabbed his arm. His eyes were wild, unseeing, his breath coming in short bursts. “Look at me.”
Panting, he jerked back. “Dom and Enrique didn’t deserve to die. I could have stopped it.”
“No, you couldn’t.” The rain came down harder, soaking them. She grabbed his shoulders and squeezed. “Ash, look at me.”
He was hyperventilating, like he was about to have a panic attack. His eyes darted around. She wanted to slap him back to reality. Instead, she backed up and gave him space.
“Death sucks, honey, and you can’t stop it from happening. All you can do is be strong for their families.”
He threaded his hands through his hair and threw his head back, toward the dark sky and pounding rain.
Just when she thought he was going to lose it, he stared at her with a penetrating gaze. Had these deaths, on the heels of his own accident and the senate’s investigation, pushed him over the edge?
“Ashton,” she murmured. He blinked several times and swiped the water from his eyes. “Come back to me.”
He snaked his arms around her waist and hauled her against him. His jagged breath heated her face. As she peered into his eyes, the pull was impossible to resist. She should push him away and order him into the car to escape the drenching rain.
Instead, she did the one thing—the only thing— that made sense.
