Page 28 of In Love and Revenge

‘I am,’ I say around a mouthful, then lick the salt from my lips. ‘It’s nervous snacking, okay? Plus, I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach any food once I’m sitting opposite him.’

She nods in understanding.

Tonight is the night I break up with Charlie. Dove and I have gone over it. I wimped out the other night, too flustered from having to share a car journey with Rafael.

But tonight is the night I end things with Charlie for good.

No sex is better than fart sex with a man who, if I’m honest, isn’t my type at all. I mean, Charlie isn’t terrible, but he doesn’t make my heart race. He’s happy to keep things casual, sex at his place, the occasional date. And he never wants to know anything about me. In the beginning, that’s what drew me to him. That he didn’t really care. I’d ask him about his job as amanager at an imports company, but he barely asked a thing about me in return. It was perfect because I never had to talk about my father and the pain of having him taken away. I got to be distracted.

Only now, I’m not even getting that. I find my mind wandering to my dad every time Charlie opens his mouth. I can’t even force myself to be interested in what he’s saying any more.

Him and I together are just ... meh.

‘Okay, I’m going in,’ I tell Dove, tossing the empty crisp tube into a bin as I approach the restaurant.

‘You’ve got this, babe. I’ll call you in an hour in case you need an excuse to leave.’

I smile gratefully. ‘Thanks.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Okay ... Love you. Bye.’

She rings off and I smooth my hands over my dress as I walk through the fancy glass doors. The woman at the front of house is busy greeting the couple ahead of me.

The place has a trendy feel to it, low lighting and rich colours, and sexy RnB music pumping through the speakers. The candlelit tables look intimate and are filled with couples gazing at one another and clasping hands over the black tablecloths.

It’s the worst place to break up with someone.

I swallow, pulling back my shoulders and forcing myself to smile as the woman at the desk greets me.

‘I’m meeting my boyfriend here,’ I tell her, giving her Charlie’s name and already feeling like the villain in a film, knowing that in around thirty minutes – less if I can manage it – Charlie will no longer be my boyfriend, and we’ll probably be leaving separately and never see one another again.

‘Great.’ The woman grins after checking her tablet. ‘He’s already here. Follow me.’

‘Great,’ I echo weakly, trailing along behind her.

‘You ... wow, you really do look good tonight, Rory,’ Charlie says, his eyes roaming over me appreciatively.

‘Thanks,’ I reply for the fifth time. He’s been unable to stop staring at me since I arrived, making this whole evening and what I have to do much harder.

‘Yeah.’ He pulls his lower lip between his teeth as he eye-fucks my cleavage again. ‘Really good.’ He screws his face up, glancing away. ‘But there’s something we need to talk about. And I don’t ...’ He looks at my breasts again. ‘I don’t want to bring it up tonight, but I can’t ...’ He licks his lips, eyes glued to my chest. ‘Damn it, it can’t wait. It’s probably a misunderstanding, though.’

‘What is?’

He gives my cleavage one final mournful look before tearing his eyes away.

I shouldn’t have worn a push-up bra, or actually, maybe this is a good thing. Breaking up with him might be easier if he’s looking at my boobs instead.

‘Something I heard. I was telling the guys at work about you—’

‘You were?’ I ask in surprise.

‘Yeah, about your make-up blog.’

‘My fashion vlog,’ I correct.

He shrugs. ‘Yeah, that. Well, one of them asked what your name was so he could tell his girlfriend about it. She wastes loads of time watching that stuff.’

I straighten in my seat, choosing to take another sip of wine instead of commenting. There’s no point getting into an argument over Charlie’s total lack of understanding and respect for what I do.

The server brings our mains out and places them on the table with a flourish. I force a polite thanks as I eye the lobster thermidor, then Charlie’s steak. I didn’t want to order such expensive things, but Charlie insisted.