Page 156 of In Love and Revenge

But my bravado is all bullshit. I don’t want my father to see me like this. Not because I care what he thinks any more.

My eyes fall to the top of my desk, covered in paperwork.

Because he’ll tell me to pack it all away. To give up. That I won’t get anywhere.

I can’t have his voice in my head any more.

He might have been a driving force behind my feelings of inadequacy growing up and feeding my anxiety that manifested itself as a fear of heights. Aurora was right when she asked what I was more scared of –heights, or disappointing my father. Both bloody scare me. But one I can usually avoid. The other? That’s the one that followsme around like a goddamn demon, whispering in my ear, making me question everything, making me feel so bloody useless.

But I won’t allow him to taint this.

Not this.

‘I’m getting George Thorne out of prison, even if it kills me,’ I announce, casting my arm over my desk to display my efforts. But I miscalculate, and half of the paperwork is swept to the floor.

Calling the judge and informing him my initial statement was biased wasn’t enough. And the solicitor Aurora hired hasn’t been able to accomplish much.

It’s up to me.

‘If this is how you approach it, then itisgoing to kill you,’ Dove snaps, striding over and pulling the glass from my grasp.

‘Hey!’

‘Shut up! We love you, Rafe. That’s why you need this.’ She stalks to my office bathroom. The sound of liquid being poured down the drain has me slumping over my elbows on my desk.

‘I need to get him out,’ I snarl when she reappears. ‘A woman is responsible. I need to find her. She was last seen in Norway.’

‘How do you know that?’ Gabe asks.

‘Dominic’s bloody dick led me to her.’

If they want to ask more, they don’t. Instead, they look at me with varying degrees of pity as I rise from my seat and lose my balance, lurching to one side. More paperwork scatters, an entire stack falling to the floor at Angelo’s feet.

‘Useless goddamn crap. Getting me nowhere,’ I slur.

‘You need to go home, brother,’ Gabe says. ‘Take some time. Process this. We’re all here for you. But you can’t be here. Not like this.’

‘He’s right, bro,’ Angelo says, squeezing me on the shoulder.

Dove arches a brow at me.

‘I’m fine. I just need to be left alone,’ I mutter.

I slump back down into my chair and pull open my top drawer. A tube of crisps stares back at me. It’s the one I got stuck on my arm during the meeting with Sullivan and Sterling Beaufort.

I hurl the drawer back into the desk, making the entire thing shake, then drop my head into my hands and let out a whine that sounds like a dog needing to be put down.

‘I bought an engagement ring for her. I was going to ask her to marry me. Make her my wife. Get her father out and give her everything I possibly could. Now I don’t even have her phone number. She’s erased me from her life.’

I break into sobs.

‘Rafe?’ Dove says, her voice oozing concern and edged with a tinge of panic. She’s never seen me like this before. None of them have. I would have even questioned if I was capable of acting so emotional before I met Aurora. I’m a man losing it in front of his siblings. And all I care about is her. How I need to hear her voice. See her face. Feel her hand holding mine.

‘I have no idea where she is,’ I choke. ‘She could be in trouble. She could be staying anywhere. You didn’t see the bloody place she was living before she moved in with me. She has nothing! She’s bloody broke! And now she’s alone. Because of me.’

‘She’s safe. She told you that,’ Dove interjects.

I lift my stinging eyes to my sister in time to see a flash of guilt before she blinks it away.