“Because I like it. Now shh…you’ll interrupt the speaker.”
I turned away and tried to focus on whateverthis man was saying. Something about dinner being served, then my mother would speak during dessert, then the awards presentation. So on and so forth.
But I couldn’t focus because I had Ambrose to my left, my mother across from me, and Liam a couple of tables away, who kept surreptitiously stealing glances at me, obviously ignoring the speaker.
The man finished and dinner was promptly brought out. Now I had to deal with whatever horrific conversation was about to occur without the excuse of a presentation to listen to.
I speared a potato with my fork and ate a bite. Though I was starving, my stomach was wound so tightly in knots, I was afraid I’d be able to eat very little.
“Do you not like my drink, dear?” my mother said across the table.
Here we go.“Oh. No, I liked it. I just finished mine and decided to have something different after. It was a little strong and I didn’t want to have too much. It would be…unprofessional.”
Her eyes widened slightly before she regained her composure. “Well, all right then. Ambrose here has been looking forward to seeing you. Why don’t you tell him about your grant proposal?”
My mother turned and began a conversation with the man next to her, the rest of the table in their own discussions.
“Grant proposal?” Ambrose asked, his blue eyes piercing.
I didn’t want to tell him about it. I didn’t want to talk to him at all. I ate another potato, chewing slowly to avoid answering as long as possible, then turned to face him.
“Yes. I’ll be presenting it in a couple of weeks.” I went on to explain what I was working on. I could tell he feigned interest, nodding along as his eyes repeatedly dipped to my pushed up breasts.
Was tonight over yet?
Ambrose leaned in and said, “Speaking of proposals, I have one for you.”
I eyed him warily.
“I miss you.” A subtle hand moved to my shoulder and a finger trailed down my neck. Bile burned at the back of my throat. “I’ve given you space the last few months, but I want you back. I miss this. I miss us.”
I leaned away. “Get your hands off me,” I hissed. He pulled back. “I was very clear when I ended things. It’s over. I do not want to be in a relationship with you.”
He rolled his eyes like my feelings were an inconvenience. “Oh, stop it Cerise. You don’t know what you want.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You keep reaching for things that are unattainable. Like becoming a dean, for example. You missed out on your opportunity to discover a new species on that expedition. And now your silly little proposal. None of that is going to help your career. So why don’t you stop chasing something you’ll never have and let me do it?”
My hand trembled as I stared at him, trying to hide the shock on my face. “Letyoudo it?”
“Your mother didn’t tell you? The position of dean of my department is opening up in a couple of months. And it’s been offered to me. You can move in with me and I’ll get you a teaching job.”
“Move in with you?” I tried not to raise my voice, but a couple members of our table glanced our way. “You presumptuous bastard. I told you I’m done. After tonight, I never want to see you again.”
“Don’t you ever speak to me that way, Cerise.” He leaned in, eyes menacing, as his hand wrapped around my arm just above my elbow, squeezing…hard.
I yelped, standing from my seat. Everyone nearby looked my way, including Liam, his face painted with concern.
“Sorry,” I scanned the people around me. “Excuse me, I need to use the ladies room.”
I turned and hurried away. Lifting my dress so I wouldn’t trip on the hem, I rushed down the dark wood hallways andturned a corner. Gripping the handle of the first door I found, I shoved it open and shut it behind me, slumping against it with a sigh.
I was in some type of storage room. Stacks of cloth-covered furniture had been shoved against the walls. Old paintings leaned against each other on the ground and the only light entered through a small round window high above.
A mirror hung on the wall to my right. I pushed off the door and stood before it, bracing my hands on either side as I tried to slow my breathing.
“Pull it together, Cerise,” I said, staring myself down in the reflection. “You are not one to lose control of your emotions. You will get through this night unscathed and then go back to the way things were. It will be fine.”
