“Ryn, what’s going on? Are you alright?”
Her shoulders shake, and I rub my hands tentatively up and down the outside of her arms, trying to comfort her. She lets out a snort, and I frown—she’s not crying…she’s laughing? Ryn takes a step back and finally looks at me, but her eyes are hard and cold, devoid of all their usual warmth. My gut clenches nervously, and I wait.
“What’s going on? You want to know what’s going on? Let’s see, shall we? I have a fuckinginsanesister who is hell-bent on burning the world to the ground, and I’m being manipulated by the gods-damn Unseelie prince. Someone in his already treacherous court has turned coat and aligned with my crazy sister—and now we have to worry there’s someone out thereworsethan Saskia and Darro.” Her chest is rising and falling rapidly as she plows on, “And if that’s not enough, you came in here and fucked me all up!”
I blink, trying to process that last part, but failing to comprehend. “I…what?”
“YOU! You’ve ruined me! It’s bad enough that it’s the best sex I’ve ever had, but you had to go further than that and make meneedyou! I don’t want to need anyone. Especially not a psychopomp with too much loyalty and not enough brains! Did you eventhinkabout how it would feel to watch you get arrested and taken away from me? Do you takeanythingseriously?”
My orbs spin with the weight of my emotions, and I try to take in a slow breath around the ache in my chest. I step back reflexively and swallow, trying to give myself some space to respond without making anything worse. Ryn’s eyes are glassy, and her nose is bright red, betraying the emotion she’s trying to hold back.
“I’m sorry, Ryn. I don’t—I don't have a lot of experience with relationships. And I’ve never felt like this before, ever. I promise—if there’s one thing you believe, let it be that I am deathly serious about you.” My arms involuntarily wrap around my midsection to keep fromreaching out for her, and I choke back a groan as tears escape the pools of her eyes. I don’t know what else to say, and I’m fucking cut open and anxious about the direction this conversation is going.
Ryn doesn’t say anything—just stares and blinks away tears. She shifts on her feet and rubs a hand against her chest, as if soothing her own aching heart. “I-I realized—” She shakes her head and tries again, “Something Darro said set me off, and I was going to run from this. Self-sabotage and run. So that’s what this is. That’s what’s wrong.”
I don’t really know what my face was doing before, but I feel it fall. Devastation blankets every cell of my body, and I can’t hold back a strangled whine. My fingers dig into my stomach, and I rock on my heels, “Oh. So…” I can feel my orbs waver with the weight of un-spilled ethereal tears, and I tilt my head up to avoid shedding them.
Small, hesitant hands slide in between my arms on either side of my stomach as Ryn leans into me. Instantly, I pull her against my chest and bury my face in her hair, filling my lungs with her warm vanilla chai scent.
“I can’t.” Her voice cracks with guilt, and I shudder, nodding into her hair.
I don’t want to pressure her, but this fucking sucks. I’m pretty sure my heart just shriveled up and died.
Her fingertips skate down my stomach again, and she pauses for only a moment before dipping them under the band of my briefs. My stomach swoops, and I inhale quickly, tensing as she wraps a hand around my quickly hardening length. I have no idea how my dick can get hard while my head and heart are barely fucking holding on.
Ryn strokes me, squeezing my knot swells just the way I like, and I groan against the conflicting feelings of bliss and heartache.
“Ryn, I don’t think—” Her free hand shoots up and clamps down over my mouth, cutting me off. My orbs flare as I look at her searchingly, halting when I notice the desperation shining in her watery eyes.
Godsdamnit.This is going to hurt like a bitch later. She was right—I am a loyal idiot with not enough brains, because I know logically I should show somecrumbof self-preservation and shut this down, but I can’t. Not when she’s looking at me like I’m the air she needs to breathe. Not when this could be the last—fuck!
My heart rate spikes with anxiety, and I decide to take my usual course of action and embrace recklessness. Future Seth can deal with the repercussions of current Seth’s delusion. I grab Ryn by the back of her neck and pull her to me, crushing my lips to hers and swallowing her moan. The brine of her tears mingles with the tingle of magic on my tongue, and I realize belatedly that I must be crying too.
I pull back quickly and let out a guttural sound at the sight of Ryn—eye makeup smeared down her tear-stained cheeks and lips swollen with kisses.Sweet death, she looks fucking beautiful. I force myself to concentrate long enough to lift a hand up to my face, intent on wiping away my tears, but Ryn catches my fingers in hers.
“Leave it.” She’s breathless, and I blink at her in confusion, because surely if she knows what they can do, she’d want me to—
That thought dies a quick death as Ryn releases my cock before winding her arms around my neck and jumping up, neatly wrapping her legs around my waist. My hands shoot out to help support her, and she leans in, running her hot tongue up the length of my cheek, licking my tear tracks. I suck in a breath through my teeth and rock my hips against her involuntarily, groaning when she grinds her core against me in return.
“Seth, baby, please.” Her voice has an edge of urgency to it, and my cock pulses in response, even as my chest aches at the endearment.
“You just—” I take a shaky breath and try again, “Do you know what psychopomp tears can do?” I’m not really sure which answer I want to hear the least. No, because that would mean she just drugged herself with the world’s most powerful upper unknowingly—or yes, because…
She nods, and the cracks on my heart spread a little more, “Vitality if someone is injured, powerful stimulant otherwise. I’m not injured, so I’m,” she moans and writhes in my arms, and I can feel the heat of her through our clothes, “I’m finally feeling good, and I’d like you to fuck me now.”
I swallow thickly and stare at her, waiting to see if she’ll say anything else. Acknowledge the fact that consuming a psychopomps tears is usually only done by soul-bonded partners, unless otherwise invited to do so. If she knows that other stuff, she has to know this too, right?
A small furrow appears between her brows, and she shifts slightly in my arms and frowns, “Unless you don’t want to, I thought—”
“I want to.” My hands tighten around her thighs, trying to hold her in place. I can’t even think straight anymore, and to be honest, I don’t want to fucking think right now. Like I said, let it all be future Seth’s problem.
She grins and nods over to the bed, signaling where she wants me. I squeeze her thighs in assent and carry her toward it, spelling our clothes off on the way. Ryn gasps as her bare cunt glides against my cock, and she wiggles until her clit rubs against one of my protrusions. I pause by the foot of the bed, my head falling back with a moan as she grinds her soaking wet core along my length, stopping when my bulbous head notches at her entrance. My inner shaft pushes forward, just barely breaching her, and our breaths hitch in unison.
“Be a good boy and sit with your back to the headboard while I bounce on this thick cock.” Ryn’s honeyed voice whispers in my ear,and I groan as she bears down and the entire tip of my cock is sucked into her wet heat. I whimper and fall to my knees on the edge of the bed, and Ryn mewls as she slides down my length.
She hums and bounces, “I like you on your knees, baby. Crawl for me?”
If my orbs could cross, they’d be fucking sideways. I knee-walk toward the head of the bed, little grunts escaping me as Ryn bobs up and sinks down again with every move I make. This fucking bed has never felt bigger, and I pant as I drop against the headboard, letting go of Ryn’s legs and fisting the sheets on either side of me.
