Again, terrible idea. I know better. I do.
And yet …
I kind of want to say yes.
“I mean I did already claim you,” Troy jokes. Why does that not sound as scary anymore?
I can’t stop my snort of laughter.
“Well, if you already claimed me, I guess it’s a done deal,” I tease.
Did I just agree? I did. I agreed.
What am I doing?
At some point Troy shuts off the TV, and we sit in awkward silence because what do we even say to each other right now.
“So … uh how’s this gonna work, then?” His question is tentative.
I let out the breath I’ve been holding. That’s a question I can answer. And suddenly I know exactly how to keep this from getting out of hand. Rules. We need rules. I sit up straight, ready to negotiate.
“Let’s talk about a few ground rules.” I’m in my element now.
“Definitely.”
“Of course, the number one rule has to be no feelings. Right?”
“Sure?” He doesn’t look convinced.
Is that agreement? What is that?
“That sounds like a question,” I tell him.
“Uh … Sure,” he says it again with slightly more emphasis. Good enough.
“Second rule, because consent is important, both of us need to be into it. If one person isn’t there for it then it’s not happening. And we need to communicate about what we want and what we don’t. Boundaries are key here. Agreed?”
“Absolutely. I’ll always respect your boundaries, Micah. Always.”
“Cool. Third rule. Either of us can opt out at any time, but we need to let the other person know. No mixed signals. Okay?”
“Agreed.”
“Okay! Well… that’s settled.”
Rules will keep me safe.
Except it’s awkward again. We should at least kiss, right? Seal the deal?
“Why don’t you come sit with me?” I say to Troy, patting the spot next to me on the smooth leather couch.
“Oh, we’re starting now?” His eyes dart everywhere in the room except at me. He’s adorably nervous.
“Why not? The first time’s gonna be weird anyway, might as well get it over with,” I say with more confidence than I feel. I’ve had plenty of casual encounters. This is no different.
He rubs his head again. Then, with a determined set to his jaw, he sits down next to me. Close enough that our legs touch. His bare skin is hot through the thin fabric of my joggers, but his solid body is a comforting weight pressed against my side.He smells so fucking good and I just want to huff his neck because I’m addicted at this point.
We turn toward each other. Maybe I should have picked a better place for this. Couch kisses can be awkward. Troy is next to me, stiff as a board, so I’ll have to take the lead. That’s fine, I prefer that anyway.
