“And we’ll deal with that when the time is right,” my grandfather replied, his eyes steady on mine. “You have my word.”
Swallowing back my anger, I gave him a nod and rose from my chair. “I’m gonna go in with Dylan.”
As I walked away, a hand fell heavy on my shoulder, and I turned to find that my grandfather and president had followed me. I wasn’t sure which one of them I was looking at until he spoke.
“I’ve been in your shoes,” he said, glancing back at Leo. My uncle’s drawn expression highlighted the scar bisecting his face from a shooting that happened when my mother was pregnant with Draco and me. “I know exactly how you’re feelin’ right now. I know the rage boilin’ in your veins, and I know how it feels to wonder if you’re ever gonna be able to keep your family safe because you didn’t see this shit comin’.”
“That’s about it, yeah,” I replied hoarsely.
“Listen to me, Curtis,” he said, leaning in. “You won’t see everythin’ comin’. No way you could. All right? Sometimes life is more fucked, and sometimes it’s less fucked, but it’s always fucked in one way or another.”
“Not sure this is makin’ me feel any better.”
“You can’t control any of it, is what I’m sayin’,” he replied. “So control the shit you can. Love your woman. Love your kids. Love your club. Do your best for each of them. That’s what you can do. Don’t let that rage boil over. It’s just gonna end uphurtin’ everyone around you. Use it. Channel it, yeah? And trust your fuckin’ club, kid. We’ll see you through.”
“Got it,” I replied.
“I’m gonna head over to Nix’s for what’s left of the night,” he said, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Your grandmother’s already there and probably waitin’ up on me.”
“I’m surprised Uncle Nix didn’t show up here.”
“He’s out of town,” Gramps replied. “On the East Coast somewhere. Hell, I don’t know. He sends his love and said to tell you that if you fuck up and need a lawyer, he knows some.”
I laughed. “Good to know.”
“I love you, buddy boy,” he said, his voice changing a little as he used the name he’d called Draco and me both when we were little. “This’ll pass. Everything does.”
“Love you too,” I replied. “Night.”
As I walked back to Dylan’s room, I considered what he’d said about not letting my rage boil over. The thing was, when I was with my family? The rage didn’t feel so close to the surface. It was when I was away from them that it hit me like a wave. I wondered if he knew something that I didn’t.
***
The next day,both Jesse and Dylan were discharged from the hospital a couple of hours apart, and the last of us who had stayed in Portland for the duration headed home. When we got there, Kara and Charlie were sitting on the porch, waiting.
“I can do it,” Jesse told Teddy as they gingerly climbed out of my mom’s SUV.
“Stubborn,” Dylan said to me as I helped him out the opposite side. “They’ve been wincing for the last half an hour.”
“Gonna be a long month,” I agreed, waiting for Finn to crawl out from the third row. “How you doin’?”
“I’m fine,” Finn said, scrambling past me. He ran around the car to catch up with his mom.
I was worried about Finn. We’d been so focused on Dylan and Jesse and all of their medical shit that it was easy to overlook the fact that he stuck to us like glue, but the longer it went on, the more I noticed that he really couldn’t be away from us. It was mostly Jesse and Teddy, but if he hadn’t seen Dylan or me in a while, he started getting anxious to the point of pacing.
“We won’t stay long,” Kara said as we met her on the porch. “But we wanted to be here to make sure you guys had everything you needed.”
“Thanks, Kara,” Teddy said tiredly. She hesitated.
“It’s just a house,” Jesse grumbled as they continued past. Throwing open the door, they walked inside.
“I didn’t even think,” Kara apologized with a wince. “Coming home. I didn’t even—”
“Why would you?” I asked gently as I scooted around Teddy to follow Jess. “It’s fine. Thank you both for comin’.”
Dylan followed me inside while Teddy and Finn put it off a little longer. We’d barely made it inside the house when we saw Jess standing between the kitchen and the living room, breathing heavily as they stared at the sliding glass door.
“Jess,” I called carefully, moving slowly as I walked their way. “You good?”
