“What?” he whispered, jerking back like I’d hit him. “Why the hell would they blame you?”
“Because I’m responsible for all this,” I replied, gesturing around the room.
“You’re not responsible for any of this.”
“How can you say that?”
“What the fuck are you even talkin’ about?” he asked, rising to his feet. He didn’t look away, like he was afraid I would bolt or something.
“I moved them up here,” I said flatly. “I put them in this position. I put you and Dylan in this position. God, I put your child in danger, Curtis.”
“You didn’t do shit, Teddy,” he argued, rounding the bed.
“Keep your voice down,” I ordered, glancing at Jesse.
“You’re not responsible for the shit Granger pulls.”
“I’m the entire reason that David Granger is a part of our lives,” I countered. “I knew he would be pissed when we moved. I knew he would pull something.”
“You knew he was gonna do that?” Curt asked, pointing at Jesse.
“Not that,” I replied, swallowing hard. “But I knew he wouldn’t let us go easily. I should’ve planned better. I should’ve moved further away. I knew better, but—”
“But you thought I would protect you,” Curtis said, crouching down in front of me. “I told you I would protect you. Made you promises that I would. Told you the club had you covered.”
“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not—”
“And I didn’t,” he said. His jaw flexed as he ground his teeth. “Didn’t put a rod in the slider like I knew I should because I kept forgettin’ about it. Took you to the club and left the kids at home. Boys down south watched for a while but grew lax when nothin’ was happenin’.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I pressed. “Of course it isn’t.Ibrought this shit to your doorstep. I almost got your son killed, Curtis.”
“Thought he was ours,” Curt replied quietly. “That’s what you said, right?”
“How can you even look at me?” I asked around the lump in my throat, gesturing to the open doorway. “How can any of you look at me?”
“We can play the blame game for the rest of our lives, Theodora,” Curtis said, rising. He gripped my hand and pulled me to my feet, his hands immediately coming to rest on the sides of my neck. He leaned down so our noses were just inches apart. “I learned a long time ago that’s fucked. No one is responsible for this shit except Granger and the fucks he sent to do his dirty work.”
Wrapping my hands around his wrists, I closed my eyes as his thumbs brushed over my jaw.
“Go up and see Dyl,” Curtis ordered, brushing his lips over mine. “I think you need a reminder that our boy is gonna be fine. I’ll stay with Jess.”
“You’ll let Finn know when he gets back?”
“Of course.”
I nodded and left the room, my hands trembling as I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist. I wasn’t sure what to think about all that Curtis said, but I knew deep in my gut that the fault lay with me alone. I’d made the decisions that led to Dylan and Jesse being hurt. My responsibility went all the way back eleven yearswhen I’d started hooking up with Mike, even though I knew he was bad news.
The consequences of my bad decisions had followed me to Oregon, and this time I wasn’t sure I could bear it.
When I got to Dylan’s room, Cam and Trix were there, speaking quietly.
“I’ll give you some time,” she said as she rose to her feet. “Since we can only have two people at a time.”
“Oh, I don’t want to kick you out.” I took a step backward.
“I need some coffee anyway,” she replied kindly. “I’ll be back later. This is a marathon, sweetheart. Not a sprint.”
She said sweetheart the same way Curtis did.
