“All of us agree with her,” Beck said. “If we need you, we’ll send the plane and have you come earlier. I don’t anticipate that happening. What we need is for you to buy a boat, so when this fucking bullshit is over, we can get on it, and you can take us to the middle of the Pacific, where I hope to hell there isn’t any cell service.”
I wanted to laugh, but I didn’t have it in me.
“If anything happens—I’m talking anything at all—one of your asses had better be calling me,” I warned.
“Don’t worry, we will,” Hart promised.
TWENTY-FOUR
SOPHIE
With Abbi asleep in his arms, Hayden walked through my front door and whispered, “Have you been out running?” as he stalled by the kitchen island, where I was standing.
I nodded before lifting my baby’s hand and kissing and smelling the back of it. She didn’t even stir from the movement. The quietness of alone time was appreciated, but I missed her, even if the period away from one another had been brief.
“Will you put her in bed?”
“Of course.”
He disappeared down the hallway, bringing my girl to her room. From the moment she had been put in my arms, she had always been a sleeper. Unlike her mom, she was not a morning person. As soon as Hayden tucked her in, she’d stay asleep for at least another hour, probably more.
When my brother returned, he stood on the other side ofthe counter, taking me in. “No coffee? Are you feeling all right?”
I pointed at my water bottle and laughed. “I’m jittery enough. How was last night with Abbi?”
“Perfect. But, man, that kid can really eat some ice cream.” He smiled. “I thought for sure she was going to have a stomachache from the hot fudge, but nope. She took it down like a champ.”
I twisted off the top, but I didn’t take a drink of the water. I just played with the plastic cap, and when that didn’t hold my attention, I set my elbows on the island, my palms cupping my cheeks.
“You and Troy are competing for who can give her the most dessert and who she likes the best. I’m sure he’s going to try to one-up you the second we get back to LA.”
He tapped his thumb against the counter. “I’m the uncle. I’ll always win.”
“He is too—don’t forget that, Hayden.”
“True … but Abbi’s my blood.”
I didn’t even attempt to come back with a reply. I didn’t have it in me. Not after a sleepless night and a run that had taken every ounce of energy from my body.
And a conversation that had haunted me since the second my toes had hit the ground and I left Colson standing in the center of the beachfront promenade.
Why can’t I stop thinking about you?
“What’s going on in your head?” Hayden eyed me down pretty hard, and then he went to my fridge and took out a container of orange juice, drinking straight from the bottle. “I can tell you’re not feeling any better from last night.” He wiped his lips and set the juice back, closing the fridge door. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I never want to talk about things like this.”
There was so much I shared with my brother, and so much I held in. Things I wouldn’t even discuss with a girlfriend. The truth was, I didn’t know how. I would get so close, my lips on the verge of parting, and something would immediately make me close up.
“I think you should change that. Starting now.”
I let out a breath, my head dropping but my stare staying on him. “Do you ever want to talk about it?”
“We’re not discussing me.”
“But—”
“Sophie, come on. You’re deflecting.”
