Still feelin’ that twist in my stomach every time his name popped up on my phone.
“I’m not sayin’ what you doin’ is okay,” I said, softer now. “It’s not. You need to chill forreal. No more hide-and-seek shit. No more bathroom stunts. If you worried, call me. If I don’t answer, leave a message. Don’t turn my life into your personal surveillance project.”
He listened, jaw tense.
“And I…” I hated the words already, but I pushed them out, “I will stop doin’ that disappear shit. The pull-back, block-you, ignore-you shit. It’s not fair for me to act like you don’t exist then get mad when you force yourself into my space.”
His eyes narrowed. “So what you sayin’?”
“I’m sayin’…” I took a breath. “If you wanna know where I’m at, ask. Straight up. Give me the chance to answer before you decide to lurk. And I’ll actually answer. That’s the compromise I got in me right now.”
He stared at me like he was tryna see if I was playin’.
“That’s all you can give me?” he asked.
“For now,” I said. “I ain’t ready to be nobody full-time yet. But I’m… tryin’.”
The last word came out small, but it was real.
His face softened the tiniest bit.
“You really got me out here in parkin’ lots negotiatin’ my crazy.” He chuckled.
A laugh bubbled out of me before I could stop it.
“Yeah, well,” I said, “you earned it.”
We stood there, some of the heat drainin’ out the air.
He reached up slow, like he was givin’ me time to move, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“You text Charlie Mac?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said automatically. “Told him I was headin’ home.”
He nodded. “Text me when you make it in.”
I sighed. “You not gon’ stop with that, huh?”
“Nope,” he said. “Difference is, now you know I’m waitin’ on it from my couch, not from your bushes.”
I shook my head, but I couldn’t hide the little smile this time.
“You somethin’ else,” I said.
“I know,” he said. “Still yours, though.”
I didn’t correct him.
Didn’t say we wasn’t a thing.
I just walked back to my car, heart still beatin’ too fast, fingers already itchin’ toward my phone even before I pulled off.
‘Cause for better or worse, I knew one thing:
I wasn’t done fightin’ this man.
And I wasn’t ready to let him go either.
