22
HAWK
"Isn't she beautiful?"Vera smiled at the baby I held in my arms.
She was red and slightly wrinkly. "I don't know, she looks just like Brody," I said without taking my eyes off the tiny face.
Vera laughed. "Doesn't she? But a cuter version."
"Hey, I'm pretty cute." Brody entered the room carrying a tray of coffees in one hand and a bag of donuts in the other.
"You're wonderful, especially if you brought chocolate glazed," Vera said.
"Would I dare to bring any other kind?" Brody set the coffees on a table and opened the bag to reveal a dozen chocolate donuts.
"We're still not having number six," Vera said before she grabbed the bag and pulled out a donut.
"You say that now." I grinned while Vera looked horrified.
"Give her a week or two," Brody said. "She was the one who wanted numbers three through five so bad. I would have been happy with two."
"Liar," Vera said around a mouthful of donut.
"Have you thought of a name yet?" I asked, hoping to steer the conversation in a different direction. "Can I suggest Condradette?"
"No," Brody said. "You say that every time." He gave me a lopsided grimace and picked up a coffee cup.
"Not true," I said. "I suggested Conrad for Hamish. And Hawk for Jack."
"You suggestedHawkeyefor Jack," Vera said. She had a smear of chocolate on the side of her mouth.
"I stand corrected." I nodded. "What about Hawkette? Oh, I know, Florence. You could call her Flo or Flossie for short."
"If that's the kind of name you'd give a kid, you better never have any," Vera said with a laugh. "We were thinking Emilie Margaret."
I gave the baby a speculative look. "I think that suits her." And now I was wondering what names Becca would choose for a child. Unfortunately I also pictured her in that hospital bed, hair damp with sweat, face full of love for our child.
Shit, man, get a grip, I told myself. I was hurting my own heart with a fantasy like that. It would never happen, not with her. I knew that, accepted it.
Mostly.
Sort of.
"I'm glad you approve," Vera said.
For a moment I thought she was angry, but I glanced up to see her smiling at her new daughter. Emilie was only a few hours old, but both of her parents clearly adored her. She probably had them both wrapped around her tiny finger already.
"I can barely remember Hamish being that small," Vera said. "It's true what they say, kids grow up so fast. You have to cherish every moment you have with them. Before you know it, they'll be grown up and gone."
"Then there will be grandchildren," Brody said. "And great grandchildren."
Vera's eyes were wide, but I smiled. Their home would always be filled with kids, noise and love. With any luck, they'd have space to squeeze in their old bachelor cousin.
The idea of always being the umpteenth wheel was a depressing thought.
And whose fault is that? I asked myself.You're an expert at shoving away feelings and pushing people away.That's exactly what I'd done since Mom died. By not talking about her, I'd shoved her memory aside. That wasn't fair to her, or to me.
Emilie wriggled a little in my arms and started to cry.
