I feel sick.
The world has gone silent.Kyle’s teammates are either protesting to the ref or on the ground deflated.None of that matters because I catch Kyle’s eye, and he looks pissed.He looks like he wants to rip me limb from limb.
Chapter 11
Kyle
What a wanker.I can’t actually believe he dived to get a penalty in the final.I hear the ref blow the whistle.Most of my teammates surround the ref and his assistants.He waves them off.Our manager, who is normally cool, calm, and collected, is giving him a mouthful too.In turn, the ref gives a yellow card to everyone surrounding him.This elicits more boos from our supports.I look over at the opposing team.They’re all hugging the goal scorer and patting AJ on the back.He looks sheepish.And so, he should.He plays for a team that is worth a couple of billion, and they had to pull the dirty tactics to beat us.
I applaud our fans and head back down the tunnel and into the dressing room.I hit the showers and then get myself ready for the ceremony by putting on the club tracksuit.I always thought it was humiliating going up those huge steps, walking past the trophy, only to be given a shitty losers’ medal as a consolation prize.
I stare at the big, glistening silver cup.If I had scored another goal, it would have been ours.Next season.I want retribution on AJ and his team.He really showed his true colors today.I built up walls to protect my heart, but I never thought I’d have to build them so high to keep AJ out.Not again.This is why I’m better off alone.This is why I have trust issues.And I know my brain will only let me see the bad.I can’t help that, but if that’s all there is to see, then maybe my brain is right to keep my heart closed off.
Our coach gives us a de-brief back in the dressing room, and we all huddle up and listen to his pep talk.He reminds us that we will still be in the best league in the world next season, that we have made the team proud, and that we will be better next season.It’s inspiring how he can rouse us from a crushing defeat to us being excited about next season with his passion and belief in us.
“Kyle, stay back a moment, will you.I have something to discuss.”
My heart leaps into my mouth.Am I being dropped?Did I not do good enough?The day seems to be getting worse.
The rest of the players leave, and he sits beside me, putting a hand on my shoulder.
“Relax.You are spiraling again.”
I try to relax, but oddly enough, my tactic isn’t working.How can I think of that tosser after what he pulled out there?I can feel my blood heating inside my body.I want to scream and break things, but I don't.Instead, I sit and listen to Coach.
“Listen.We love you at this club.I hope you know that.”
“I do, Coach.And I love it here too.”I try to sound calm, but I know where this is going.He’s going to get rid of me.Send me down to a league or two below for the “experience.”My brain doesn’t let me consider this won’t happen even though I was the top goal-scorer.Sometimes, coaches will send players elsewhere on loan to see how they would fare in different environments and learn different styles of play.Of course, that seldom happens to players who’ve had a season like me, but, hello anxiety.
“But I have some news for you.And maybe you will like it?Maybe you will not?I want to let you know first-hand, though, that I had no say in this.And I wanted you to hear this from me, before you log onto social media and see for yourself.”
Oh fuck.Oooohhh fuuuuuck.They’ve found out I’m gay.I’m ruined.The room starts to spin.I can hear Coach’s voice in the distance.I can feel him shaking my arm.I come back to him, slowly, like a log being washed up on the shore.
“Kyle, did you hear me?”
“No, sorry.Please can you repeat that?”
“Union have come in with an offer for you.£67 million.We cannot afford to say no.You will have a medical there tomorrow morning.”
What?And I cannot stress this enough—the fuck!?Union.My hometown club, Union.Have bought me for £67 million.I must be dreaming.
“Am I dreaming?”I hear myself ask.
Coach laughs.“Not at all, Kyle, listen.I know you may be in shock, but this money will help us.And I know Union is your hometown club too, so this is a happy ending for all of us.You will go down as a club legend for keeping us up, I hope you know that.”There’s that phrase again.Of course, I know.Hell, this club saved me.I might be painted as a stubborn arsehole, but even I know that.
“Yes, Coach.I cannot thank you enough for trusting me, and for keeping faith in me.”
He pats me on the back and leaves me to my thoughts.There’s someone I need to call.
I still can’t believe it.Tomorrow morning, I’m having a medical at my hometown club.The famous Union!I’ve read all about it on social media.The fans are excited at the prospect, the media are already pitting AJ and me against each other next season for the “Golden Boot”, and of course, “namebunchanumbers” is calling me a queer.Great.I try to block it out.
There’s a knock at my door, and I answer it with a smile on my face, despite who it is.
“Why do you look so happy to see me?”
Trish steps in, her peroxide blonde hair tied into a high pony this evening.I know it as her relaxed look.I’ve only ever seen it once before.
“Please, take a seat,” I say, nervous about what I’m about to ask.She looks at me skeptically.
