“I’m glad I could help.You make me happy too.”
“Thank you.You have done more for me than you should.I’m sorry I was an ass.”I will admit I don’t often say sorry, and the words almost got lodged in my throat.
“You’re gonna have to be more specific.”
“Fuck off.”A laugh escapes my mouth.Hearing him laugh back is like a melody only for me.I hastily try to put up the walls to my heart, but something is jammed.
“Hey, um, if it’s the comments I think it is that are causing you to have these panic attacks, just delete the app.”
I think about giving him a bullshit response, but the truth falls out instead.“But I can hear some whispers in the crowd now too.The away fans, when I’m taking a corner, shout the usual homophobic slurs.”
“Don’t give them any power.”
“It’s easier said than done,” I scoff.
“I get that.I really do, but try and tune into the other ten, twenty, thirty thousand fans cheering you on.”
“Our home ground holds closer to sixty,” I say matter-of-factly.
“Well, excuse me,” he says, laughing.
We talk for a little longer and then hang up, both having to focus on the last two games of the season.We don’t talk about the final game and how it could define both of our seasons.
Chapter 10
AJ
The penultimate game.We’re already champions, but we have the opportunity to have the most points ever.And then we can focus on the cup final.The match against Kyle’s plucky underdog team.Our squad is already writing them off, saying we’ll steamroller them like we have done with every other team this season.But I know that they have a secret weapon in Kyle, and I know first-hand how stubborn he is.How determined he is.When we were youngsters, everyone said he had this gift, and they were right.He still has that gift.The ability to change any game at any moment.
Watching the game from the bench is torture.I always want to be on the pitch, especially at home when we’re going to win the league title and lift up the trophy in front of all the fans.I get it, though—Gaffer has said he’s saving me for the cup game.We have a big squad, and to have played the number of games I have at such a young age is almost unprecedented.I’m grateful for each and every opportunity.
I soak in the atmosphere from the bench, cheering along with our fans.I can’t help it.I know a small part of my inner child is screaming at me, but I’m having fun, and like I say, this team is paying me.I look around on the bench and everyone else seems pretty stoic in comparison.I don’t get it.This is football.This is people’s dream, and we’re living it—at least smile.
I watch as the ball comes out wide, all of us rise in anticipation, and the ball is hammered in by our main striker.The fans go nuts.I’m hugging everyone in the dugout, and our gaffer is running up and down the touchline.Now the rest of my teammates decide to smile and be merry.I pump my fist in the air and cheer along with the fans.
We’ve done it.We’ve officially gotten the most points in a single season, and I hear someone say we’ve also scored the most goals in a single season too.The next minute the gaffer is calling me over, and I'm stripping out of my tracksuit and into my kit.I’m replacing our star striker.I hold my hands out for a high five, and he duly obliges, a huge grin on his face.There’s ten minutes left, still time to make an impact.
The crowd cheers my name as I make my way to my position up top.The ball comes to me right away, and I’m shoved off it.I need to work on my strength for next season, that’s for sure.I read in one of the newspapers that I was a “wizard's staff”—meaning I’m tall and thin.I’ll show them all next season.
The opposing team tries to press, but we turn them over.This time, the ball comes to me over the top of the defense.I take it down with my right foot.The keeper rushes toward me and takes both me and the ball out.I scramble back up to my feet and try to get the ball, but the defenders are back in force, and they clear it away in the nick of time.
Gaffer’s words come screaming at me from a few weeks back, telling me to simulate if I feel contact in the box.I’ve seen so many players do it and swore I wouldn’t.Besides, what would have been the difference in this game anyway?I chase away the thought about what I would do in the cup final next Sunday.I’d like to think I have enough integrity to stay on my feet, but if we’re a goal or two down, or if it’s the last few moments and we need a goal, I can’t answer the question of what I’d do.I shake the thought aside, hoping it will never come to that.
The game ends, and we win it comfortably.I don’t manage to get on the score sheet, but I do set two goals up.Not bad for a ten-minute cameo.I have done enough to earn my place in the cup final, that was just the icing on the cake.
Only the home fans are left in the stadium, the noise they’re producing is unreal, deafening almost.We take turns in lifting and posing with the trophy.When I get my turn, I run to the crowd, and they cheer, then our captain gets a champagne bottle and sprays it in my face.We’re joined by other players singing the club songs.I’m on top of the world.This is what I’ve worked my whole life for, but yet, my mind goes to Kyle, and I wonder if his team managed to secure the points they needed to stay up.He’s far too good for that team anyway, and whatever happens, he should get a decent transfer away from that club.I did, only half-jokingly, say to my gaffer that we should sign him, but he said they already have me, so there’s no need.As much as that felt good to hear, we do need a backup striker, and it would be great to play with my…my…whatever he is again on the same team.Certainly notboyfriend, as he made that very clear.I’m happy to have him back in my life, though, whatever shape that may be in.
There’s an exuberant atmosphere in the dressing room.Players are dancing on the benches, others are going live on TikTok—even our gaffer is smiling, which is a great sight to see.I pull out my phone with the intention to message Kyle.I see on social media that he’s trending, and so am I.My heart beats for an extra second; seeing our names in such close proximity could only mean one thing.
FillippeL09: AJ is going to be the face of this club next season, WHAT A PLAYER!
JVeridi19: Kyle will command a big transfer next season!A Hatty when it matters most at that age!Wow!Would love to see him at Union.
ColeP90812: I heard a rumor that there’s a premier player that’s gay.I bet it’s Kyle.Did you see him crying at the end of the match?Puff.
KyleT’sSuperFan09: Kyle, thank you for the goals this season.I’ll follow and support you wherever you go.You should be proud of what you’ve done, good luck with the cup game!
Blue4EVA1996: AJ is gonna be a National Hero within the next two seasons.Kyle will be a nobody.Bookmark this.
