Leaving him standing under it, I threw his clothes over the chair in his room, taking a moment to check his pockets to be sure he hadn’t accidentally left either his wallet or phone behind. Both went on the bedside table along with his apartment key, before I pulled back the covers and fetched a glass of water.
Back in the bathroom, he hadn’t moved, just stood letting the water dribble over him.
“Wow, the water pressure here really is bad,” I said. “But maybe it got rid of at least some of the smell.”
“I smell?” he asked almost plaintively as I shut off the water and held up a towel.
“Like a nightclub, but the straight kind.”
As I wrapped the towel around him, he screwed up his nose. “Gross.”
“You can have a proper shower tomorrow. For now—” I grabbed a second towel and started ruffling it through his hair. “Let’s just get you into bed.”
Once he was more or less dry, I helped him to his room where he dropped naked onto the bed, damp hair splaying across his pillow. As I pulled the covers over him, his phone screen lit with a message from Tina.Miles, please just tell me where you are and if you’re ok!
“Right, well I got you water, and your phone is here,” I said. “I’ll take mine off silent so you can call if you need anything.”
He gazed up at me, eyes a little hazy. “You’re beautiful.”
“And you’re still drunk. I’m going back to bed.”
I barely made it a step before he caught my hand. “Mat.”
My heart thudded as I looked down to find his fingers wrapped around mine, then to his face where his dark eyes were like lodestones. “Miles,” I returned, his name pulling past a growing lump in my throat.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and I knew it wasn’t tonight he was apologising for. The afternoon at the laundromat perhaps, or something more, the words owning weight. Having stayed my escape, he slid his hand a little way up my arm, a questing gesture without suggestion, like he just wanted to touch more of my skin. “I hope you’ll be able to forgive me one day.”
“I already did.”
Not a lie to calm him, just a foolish truth that I had and I always would and I desperately needed to escape.
I gently pulled my hand away. “Get some sleep. Call if you need me.”
He let me go, and turning off his apartment lights as I went, I slipped out into the hallway. Closing the door behind me felt like trying to shut away all the thoughts I wasn’t allowed.
Standing in the middle of the dimly-lit passage, I pulled out my phone and messaged the number Tina had called me from.He’s very drunk but he’s fine. I just put him to bed.
And then because I needed something to steady me, I called Dad.
“Hey Matty,” Dad said, picking up after a couple of rings. “Isn’t it pretty late there? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. I just can’t sleep and it’s been a while, so I thought I’d call. If you’ve got time.”
“I’ve got time,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. It made me long for home. “Are you looking forward to playing centre court at Wimbledon? Few players get a chance at that.”
“Yeah, I mean even if I lose, getting to play there will be special. But hey, I . . . don’t really want to talk about tennis. Tell me about the swift parrots. Or the western possums or something.”
A pause. I could imagine him sitting in his tiny, cluttered home office slowly nodding, a little wary as he said, “Sure, whatever you need. Did you watch that video I sent?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Weren’t those fledglings so sweet? That clutch is still going strong, you know.”
I leaned back against the wall and let his warm voice and his enthusiasm wash over me, glad for a time to be able to forget about the man I had just tucked up in bed. Forget about the way he had looked at me like maybe I really was his whole world.
Fifteen
Miles C
