Tina spread her hands. “Of course it would. Popularity equals endorsements, and endorsements equals money you don’t have to play for, andthatis an investment in your game because you don’t have to worry as much about getting injured or having a slump.” She sipped her coffee like she’d just laid down a winning card. “I might not be very smart about tennis, but I know about harnessing popularity. Trust me. You need a manager. A media agent. Something. Unless you have an as yet un-tapped panache for self-promotion.”
“Oh, he definitely doesn’t have that,” Miles murmured, his easy smile back now we were no longer in danger of talking about him.
“Shush, you.” Tina smacked his arm. “The grown-ups are talking.”
Grinning, Miles pulled out his phone. A moment later, my phone screen lit up by my elbow.the effort it took just to get laid
Fuck you, I wrote back, fighting a smile.
Across the table, Miles bit his lip, and shot me one of his heated looks as he hit send.yes please
“Hello? Yes, Iamstill here,” Tina said with an exasperated sigh. “Don’t make me confiscate your phones like some militant parent, it’ll make me feel old.”
“You are old, Tee.” Miles shrugged, but tucked his phone into his pocket. “Almost thirty.”
“Not for another year! Urgh, you are so annoying!” She turned her shoulder on him. “So, Matteo. Manager. Get one. Better now so you can harness this early popularity, because it could be the difference between a splash and a tsunami if you keep rising up the rankings.”
I shook my head, a little dazed. “I’m not even sure what popularity you mean.”
“Do you ever look at social media?”
“Not if I can help it.”
Tina looked bemused. “What do you do in your downtime?”
“He reads,” Miles said, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Don’t you, Mat?”
“Oh? What do you read?” Tina asked.
“Books, but that is extremely beside the point. I just don’t really see what about me is worth promoting. I haven’t won a pro title. I’m not even ranked inside the top fifty.”
She threw up her hands. “Is tennis all you think about?”
“No,” I said, as Miles said, “Yes.”
Ignoring both of us, she went on, “From my admittedly limited research into the matter, your major selling points seem to be that you’re good looking—”
“True,” Miles said, nodding sagely.
“—that you’re exciting to watch play—”
“Also true.”
“—that you smile a lot on court—”
“It’s very cute.”
She shot him a warning look. “And that you’re gay.”
“That,” I said, latching on to the one I could cope with, “has not been a selling point in my experience.”
“Do you mean in the press room?” Tina waved a dismissive hand. “Those stuffy fools wouldn’t know a good story if it bit them. Thankfully, there are plenty of people who would love to make a big deal out of it if you let them.”
I heaved a sigh and slumped back. “Look, thanks for the advice, but I didn’t set out to be The Gay Tennis Player. I just want to be a tennis player who’s open about being gay because I think it’s important, you know? While I might not besomeone,I’m also notno one, so my honesty has more power to help normalise queerness in sport than the average man on the street. And since I owe my freedom to the generation who came before me, I pay that back by standing tall for the next generation of gay kids.Butthat doesn’t mean being gay is my defining feature.”
Belatedly, I realised I shouldn’t have said any of that. I’d been careful not to share my opinions on solidarity with Miles, because if he agreed with any of it and still chose silence, it would be so much harder to keep my disappointment locked away where it couldn’t hurt us. Now, he sat watching me with that intent stare of his, like he was trying to read me, while beside him, Tina pressed out a flat smile beneath her sunglasses.
“I get that, Matteo,” she said, “but Miles didn’t set out to be the American Freight Train, yet here we are. You don’t always get to choose what people find compelling about you. I know that’s not exactly comparable, but my point is that I don’t think it’s automatically a bad thing that some people think you being gay makes youmoreworth cheering for.” She shrugged. “You give people hope and you make them happy. If that’s not helping the next generation of gay kids then I don’t know what is.”
