Just because my body isn’t with you doesn’t mean my heart and soul left too.
I’m right here.
And I always will be.
Part 2
Chapter 36
Dylan - eight years later
My screams came out muffled, as if I were underwater. Swallowed by the walls of my mom’s bedroom and the soft beeping of hospital machines. Dad had me locked against him. My arms strained forward, fingers stretching toward my mom lying still in the hospital bed they’d set up in her room. Her head rested on the pillow, turned slightly to the side. Her mouth was parted just enough to look like she might breathe again.
She looked asleep. Like if I waited a little bit, she’d blink and move. And tell me it was okay.
But she didn’t.
“Mom!” I sobbed, the sound tearing out of my chest so violently it hurt my throat. “No, Mom, don’t leave me here!”
Grandma was crying so hard her whole body shook. She pulled my mom’s lifeless body into her arms, rocking her back and forth, pressing her cheek against Mom’s head as if she could love her back to life. Like refusing to let go might change something.
I shoved harder against Dad, but his arms stayed tight.
“Let me go!” I screamed. “Now!”
His face stayed stiff and flat. “You need to calm down!”
Not one tear slid down his face. Not even a shine in his eyes. Just impatience. This was an inconvenience for him. Like Mom dying was something we needed to get over with quickly.
Piece of shit.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Amanda step closer and place a hand on his shoulder. Her fingers were steady and calm. She shook her head once, a slow and deliberate motion, and only then did he release me.
The second his grip loosened, my body lurched forward.
I fell against the bed so hard my hip hit the rail, but I barely felt it. I wrapped my arms around my mom’s cold body, over Grandma’s, and clung to her. She was so cold. Not cool—ice cold. The kind that told me, in the most horrific way possible, that she was really gone forever. That she would never smile at me again. Never hug me or kiss me again. Never hold me again when the world was falling apart around me and all I needed to survive was my mom’s unconditional love.
“No,” I choked out, burying my face against her shoulder. “No, no, no. Take me with you,” I sobbed. “Please, Mom. Don’t leave me here. Take me with you.”
Ethan and Lila came in and screamed at the same time. Their voices bounced off the walls and stabbed me like knives. Dad just stood there, hands hanging uselessly at his sides as if watching strangers fall apart.
Amanda moved fast, scooping Ethan up. His small arms wrapped around her neck. Lila just stood there sobbing until my dad finally took her into his arms.
The cries.
The sobbing.
The screaming.
It felt like we would all suffocate.
My heart shattered so violently, I thought I might actually die right here with her. Maybe hearts really could break and kill people. Maybe mine was cut to pieces inside me, and I would just drop dead beside my mom and go wherever she had gone. The thought felt good in this moment. Like mercy.
How could life do this to me? How could life be so cruel?
Then, suddenly, the scene changed.
No warning. No soft fade. One second, the bedroom. The next, asphalt under my sneakers.
