Kate was lying back on the exam bed, her jumper pushed up, the paper beneath her crackling every time she shifted. Her other hand rested on top of mine, her thumb tapping out some quiet morse code on my knuckles. I didn’t think she even knew she was doing it. She only did that when she was nervous.
I wanted to be steady for her. Like she could lean on me without ever worrying I’d falter. But my insides were twisted up tight, likesomeone had knotted a rope through my chest and kept pulling. Every breath felt heavier than it should’ve.
I didn’t know what to expect. I’d never done this before. She’d been sick for weeks, and yeah, she kept telling me it was a good sign, that it meant things were moving the way they should, but what did I know? All I saw was how pale she looked. How much weight she’d lost. How tired her eyes seemed. It unsettled me in a way I couldn’t put words to.
I knew there was a baby in there, but nothing, not a single thing in my life, could’ve prepared me for what I was about to feel when I saw it for the first time.
The screen lit up.
“Okay,” the sonographer said, all chirpy and casual, like this wasn’t the single biggest moment of our lives. “Let’s see what we’ve got here…”
She squeezed the warm gel onto Kate’s stomach, and we both watched her every move like hawks. Then she pressed the transducer to her skin. A split-second later, the room exploded with the rapid, galloping thump of a heartbeat.
And there it was.
A flickering, kicking little shape of perfection. I stopped breathing.
Kate gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Her heart was pounding, I could feel it against my side. Mine was doing the same.
“That’s your baby,” the woman said, tilting the screen toward us like we hadn’t already grasped it. “Looks like you’ve got a very healthy little one growing in there. Measuring just right for mid-June.”
Little one.Ourlittle one. The feeling hit me like a tidal wave. Like my body was trying to remember how to hold all this feeling at once.
I leaned in closer, jaw clenched to stop my lip shaking. Every squiggle and shadow, every tiny limb, I couldn’t stop staring. My eyes were blurring, and I didn’t even care.
Kate looked up at me through tears, real ones, streaking silently down her cheeks. And for a second, we just stared at each other. Like neither of us could quite believe it.
“Is it…can you tell?” she asked the sonographer quietly.
She smiled. “Well, it’s a bit early…” she said, moving the handle further down Kate’s abdomen before pressing it into her firmly. “Oh…actually, hang on…Nope, no hiding that. Looks like you’ve got a little boy.”
Kate squeezed my hand, tight. Like she was bracing for my reaction. But I was already gone. A boy. A son.We were having a son.This made it real in a way nothing else had.
My mouth opened, but nothing came out. Just this ragged, breathless exhale like someone had hit me in the chest with a cricket bat.
I was going to have a son. With her. With Kate. And it washed over me in one overwhelming, undeniable wave. I got to love them for the rest of my life.
I kissed her forehead. Then her temple. Then the slight curve of her belly, which was already rounding beneath her clothes.
“Hey, mate,” I whispered. “Can’t wait to meet you.”
Kate let out a little tear soaked laugh that caught in her throat as I felt her relax beneath my hand.
“He’s showing off already,” she said softly. “Just like you.”
I brushed her hair back from her face, smiling. “I hope he’s just like you. Brave. Clever. Reckless.”
She sniffed cocking an eyebrow. “Reckless?”
“You fell for me, didn’t you?”
She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling properly now. That soft, luminous smile that pulled at my heart. And just like that, everything changed.
That screen. That heartbeat. That perfect little blur. It was all real now. ?
She was still smiling when we made it back to the car, clinging to the printout of his photo like her life depended on it. I’d never seen her this happy.
The second she dropped into the seat, she let out a breathless laugh. Overwhelmed, and giddy, and glowing in that way she probably didn’t even realise she was. I climbed in beside her, leaned my head back against the seat, and when our eyes met, my smile was unstoppable.
