She let out a sob. “You’re not angry?”
I threw the test down on the sofa. “Angry?” I cupped her face in both hands, my own heart breaking apart. “Kate, I fucking love you. And you’re having my baby. Angry is the last thing I could ever feel right now.”
“Jordan…”
“Kate, I want this. You. Us. The baby. All of it. I want to spend my life making this up to you. I don’t care what it takes. You tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. No question.”
Her eyes filled, tears spilling fast.
I brushed her hair back, whispering, “You didn’t ruin anything, Kate. You gave me something I never thought I’d have. You made mebelieve there’s more than the game, more than winning. You make me want to be better.”
She gave a soft, disbelieving laugh through her tears. “I thought you’d panic.”
“I am panicking,” I admitted with a shaky laugh. “But not about you. Not about us. Just about whether I’ll ever be good enough for you now.”
“You already are,” she whispered.
The room went quiet.
Then she said, barely audible, “There’s something else.”
I nodded, ready for anything at this point.
“I quit my job,” she said quietly. “I’m putting my house on the market. I made that choice before everything went to hell, I just hadn’t told you yet. But I was never going back, Jordan. Not to that life. I want to be with you. I want to come with you.” She looked down and placed a hand over her stomach. “We want to come with you.”
We.I closed my eyes and felt my heart splinter open. “I don’t deserve you,” I whispered against her forehead.
“Yes, you do,” she said softly. “But you better never fuck it up again.”
A wet, shaky laugh broke out of me as I crushed her to me, holding her like she was my whole world. Because she was.
“I love you,” I murmured. “So fucking much.”
“I love you, too,” she whispered. “And you’re going to be such a good dad.”
I kissed her like I believed her. Like maybe I could become the man she already saw in me.
And for the first time since she walked out that door, I let myself hope again.
? *******??
She’d worn herself out with worry. I could hear her breathing slowing and getting deeper as she was draped across my chest, one handcurled tight against my ribs like she was holding on in her dreams. Like if she let go, it might all vanish. And I still hadn’t let her go.
Not since she looked up at me with those tear-filled eyes and said,“We want to come with you.”
Not since the wordpregnantpassed her lips and hit me like a freight train. I couldn’t believe she was here. That she’d driven the whole way to London the minute she knew I was on that plane. Her lips trembled when she told me she’d been sitting in the flat for hours before I walked in, trying to figure out how she was going to tell me.
I couldn’t believe she thought I’d be angry.At her. It probably didn’t help that the last time she saw me I was tearing her apart in that stupid hotel room. But Christ…I could never be angry at her about this. ?I was still holding her like I might wake up and realize it was just some jet-lagged hallucination. But she was here, and she was real. Curled next to me, carrying our child.
Jesus.
We were having a baby. I was going to be a dad.
We hadn’t been together long. A couple months. By all accounts, this should’ve felt mad. Too fast. Too much.
But somehow it didn’t. It felt inevitable, like the only thing that had ever made sense. Maybe because it was her. Because losing her, even just for a couple days, had nearly gutted me. I wasn’t making that mistake again. Not now. Not ever.
I ran a slow hand down her back. The sheet had slipped to her waist. Her sundress was somewhere on the floor. My hoodie was probably hanging off a kitchen chair. We’d barely even made it to the bedroom.
